All Must Die

A Finn embraces their inner Darth Vader and a paint pen.

The New York Times had an article A Word to Finns: 'For Your Own Good, Blow Your Top' [pdf] the other day and it is the most banal and cliché story I've read about Finland in the US media yet. I don't know if there has been a single story written in the US press that doesn't comment on how quiet or sullen the Finns seem in comparison to the chatty yankees, save maybe the ones about Nokia when they remember it isn't a Japanese company. The article is full of stereotypes and it confuses suppressing emotions with being taciturn. Non-Finns seem to take particular offense at this cultural difference but I find the silence is one of the most endearing features of Finnish culture. Never again will I ever have to politely endure some random person telling me how their husband is screwing the babysitter while waiting to pay for my groceries or comment on the weather.

Imagine, if you will, the young Anakin Skywalker, Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker. The young Anakin and Luke were both in touch with their feelings, both lovesick puppies making an ass out of themselves and generally blithering idiots whom the force would have done well to seal their gaping, whining oral cavities. Darth Vader on the other hand was a guy dressed in a stylish black ensemble, like many Finns and, aside from the heavy breathing, spoke only occasionally in a basso profundo voice. Darth was in touch with his feelings as he reached out to Luke to inform him that he was his father and then later that he would die. Darth was a no-frills, in touch with his inner dark side kind of guy. Quiet, thoughtful, no whining. Who would you rather share a land speeder with, whiny Luke or wheezing Darth? No contest, really.

Here, experts say, a car accident brings, not blame and insults, but a polite exchange of information. A bus breakdown causes no complaints; rather, the Finns on the bus will file off and try to push it to the next stop.
[...]
Here, it is not unusual to walk into a restaurant and spot most people eating dinner in silence, content to chew and not chatter. Silence is a sign of wisdom and good manners, not boredom and half-wittedness.

Oh my god, a whole busload of people who, instead of bitching about the bus, the personal inconvenience and threatening to sue the driver for making them late, these people shut up and get the bus moving again! Clearly, this is a sick, sick, culture that needs a swift infusion of more American TV shows and movies so that they can get the script right! We were out to dinner at a Russian restaurant recently and it must have been obnoxiously loud yankee night as there were 3 groups of them surrounding a few tables of quiet Finns who looked positively terrorized, ourselves included. It's possible to dine without conversation and not have to wonder if you're killing yourself with silence and kermaviili.

Silence is a beautiful thing when you witness the sheer power it has to make people feel extremely uncomfortable without even trying. I watched a CEO of a company who was interviewing Jarkko and I together nearly turn himself inside out because Jarkko did what came naturally. It was a beautiful and sublime moment that I still regret not having captured on video. I've had countless Americans ask me if Jarkko 'hated' them because he didn't chat them up in a social situation. I'll admit that the first time we met his silent stare didn't really communicate his fond feelings and, in fact, I thought I had bored him into a near coma, but it eventually worked out in the end. :)

While it may be true that Finns do not emote enough, it may be due to the fact that it's just not really practical in a world that is mostly self-absorbed and doesn't really give a damn about your personal problems. Every time someone asks you, "How are you?", they are expecting a "Fine. You?" response to the script. They aren't asking for the litany of woe you might have. Save the emoting for people who care. Perhaps it would be more prudent to have classes in how to listen to other people and be sensitive instead. When people talk a lot it doesn't mean they are dealing with their feelings. My father was a gregarious man who loved to talk but what killed him was years of indigestion/acid reflux due to being a closet worry wart that eventually caused esophageal cancer. It's not the emotions or that you tell someone about them rather how you internalize them. An anger management class isn't likely to change your lifestyle or behavioural patterns overnight if at all.

I mean, the president has something like a 90 percent approval rating --please," Dr. Furman said. "For our country to keep up with competitiveness, we need to respond differently.

Yes, Finland needs to have a president like Dumbya to really be competitive since his approval rating is down and most of the world thinks he's an idiot unlike Tarja Halonen who is a smart woman doing a good job that people approve of as well as being a respected leader among other nations. A president the people elect and like must be a sign of a fucked up culture for sure! A seething pool of dissent and countless hours of ranting talking heads flinging poo at each other like monkies would be much, much better. Think of all the political pundit blogs Finland could have! Thanks Dr., I needed a good laugh. Have you considered relocating to the US?

So, I hope Finland keeps to its cultural pride in sisu and silence and doesn't go the way of the US with their own Jerry Springer show and people venting petty, selfish anger at every available opportunity. Embrace your inner Darth Vader, not your inner Luke Skywalker, and exploit the power of silence. Building a death star would be kinda cool, too. Even Russia wouldn't mess with Finland then. :) For the non-Finns I recommend getting a large dog and walking it daily as HB nearly always draws a crowd of friendly, chatty Finns out on the sidewalk.

14 Mar 2004 at 2:26, Helsinki