Economics of sucky Christmas gifts....

My great aunt Alice always gave my sisters and I awful brown polyester socks for Christmas every year that I can recall. I would thank her for her thoughtfulness and stuff them into a box in my closet where they would be joined by another pair the next year. I was relived when she finally stopped giving gifts and have never worked up the nerve to ask her why she seemed to have a particular fondness for brown polyester footwear. Some mysteries are best left alone I suppose.

One economist puts this well meaning but ultimately unappreciated gift giving into a whole new perspective as the deadweight loss of christmas. Now you can be a grinch and be an economic hero since you aren't wasting valuable resources or sending people to the day after christmas returns line. Forget the brown socks and send a card instead next year :)

permalink Ω 30 December 2001, Helsinki

Babbage sure wasn't kidding :)

As we turned off of Broadway tonight and onto Glen street, 3 or 4 blocks away we could see the beacon to holiday cheer making me wonder if the space shuttle could see the humble Somerville home from space. Mere photos nor words can describe this Edisonian shrine to holiday cheer. I could have stood there for an hour and still not consumed its every detail like the angry virgin, 2nd storey santa and cow, seraphim and minnie mouse, santa playing rudolph and an exceptional star that I could have stared at for hours alone.

While we were still trying to comprehend the enormity of the display a woman walked by informing us that there was another house just 2 blocks over that was probably also visible from space or at least causing navigational problems with Logan airport. The house had a nativity, snowflakes, and a glowing pastiche of everything else. The entire house was covered with lights. I skipped the animatronic reindeer :)

Thanks Babbage! :) There are a number of Finns who are both horrified and delighted by the first collection and will certainly enjoy these new additions.

permalink Ω 27 December 2001, Helsinki

Thats no ICBM, Sir!

NORAD tracks Santa. It's so cute it hurts. :)

permalink Ω 24 December 2001, Helsinki

2001: A Massachusetts Christmas Photographic Odyssey

This year it has been especiallly difficult to find some of that good old fashioned holiday cheer but, much like Brazil relaxing its energy rationing for Christmas lights, I went forth with my new camera to catch a little twinkling festive levity. I can't say that I've found any good reasons why humankind should continue to exist but some of the displays both amused and delighted. So, Merry Megawatt Holidays and hopefully the photos will put a little festive chuckle into your Christmas Eve :)

There are quite a variety of lights and displays around the Boston area but Keyspan is sending a special"Thank You!" to this bright home in Arlington complete with the constellation Pegasus. Another house in Arlington has a nice classic look with a tree in the window and a lovely wreath as a crowning touch. A nativity on the porch with Santa as the North Star caught my attention one night. A little closer look at the porch nativity not only reveals the baby doing the full monty but the king at the left may be 'profiled' out of next years model. Is that a bomb he's holding? :)

For the canine lover, one Arlington home had a sheepdog wreath and Snoopy and Scooby-Doo to get you into the festive mood.

The City of Boston splurged and put up a cheap sign on the Common so as not to appear to be spending our tax dollars frivolously. Boston Common also had a large menorah for Chanukah and a rather loud christian guy attempting to save people but lost even the homeless guy on the bench who was trying to get some sleep. An associate of his was inspired to offer the gospel of jesus to rabbinical students with the rabbi looking on wonderment. It was a really funny moment :) The Wang Center Nutcracker is an annual sign that Christmas has arrived in Boston.

One home in Woburn embraced the American way of 'if one is good, 50 is better' in their lighting pastiche including a herd of reindeer, glowing nativity with camel, freaky frosty, another nativity where Joseph appears to have a club and Santa "The Green Finger" Claus. Another Woburn home turned their house into a glowing flag. A simple entourage-free nativity appeared and a politically correct Happy Holidays. The Woburn Boy Scout troop Christmas tree lot had a sweet little tree with a "pay here" box for the honest and a very large guy in a car for those not so honest.

A group of brightly costumed "Jingle Ride" bicyclists rode into Harvard Square and stopped on g enough for Rudolph to lead the kids in a rousing Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer carol. I also spied Santa, Elf #69, and some apprentice elves riding in style before they departed. The Republik Pub down the street from Harvard Square bid passers-by to join Mrs. Claus for a stiff one on Christmas Eve...I wonder what Santa will be having. :)

One Lexington home sported Santa and a basket of Reindeer hanging from the side of the house. The detail of Santa looking skyward and the reindeer looking nervously at the ground was delightful. Next year Santa will probably fly Southwest Airlines instead. Lexington is home of the Minuteman, a very patriotic symbol of freedom so it's no surprise that patriotic red, white and blue lights and flags abound this year. I even caught a real live patriot on the T one night returning from the Boston Tea Party reenactment. [ The minuteman photo was a casualty of having a tripod in the middle of MassAve at 11pm while freezing my arse off, getting hassled by the Lexington cops and not having the manual handy so I could figure out how to lock up the mirror :) ] A non-glowing nativity in front of the First Parish Church with the celeryleg crier and Mary and Joseph contemplating the empty crib.

Cape Anne [ the 'other' Cape in Massachusetts ] was full of holiday garnish. Another sinister snowman started to make me wonder if snowmen are really the clowns of Christmas. An illuminated Santa and sleigh caused traffic to bunch up a bit and I imagine that those in awe must have been seeing this version instead. mmm...pass. more. eggnog. Rockport trimmed Motif #1 in a wreath and flag to liven up the fishing shack for the holidays. The Rockport Ladies Club outdid themselves this year adorning the tree in stars and stripes bows, reflective foil stars and patriotic twinkling lights.

The look in Spock's eye and the set of his head
Soon gave them to know he would not go to bed.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And tuned all the sensors then turned back to Kirk,
And pressing a button and counting to three,
He lit up the bridge like a huge Christmas Tree.
His work done, he nodded, and walked toward the lift
As his friends stared in awe at his luminous gift.
But they heard him exclaim, his voice with good-will rife,
"Merry Christmas! And to you all, Peace and Long Life!"

permalink Ω 24 December 2001, Helsinki

It's not a cane, it's a J!

Ever wonder where 1.8 billion candy canes come from or how they are made this time of year? Well, Bob's Candies apparently invented the machine to make the canes as well as patented the box to ship them in and even claims to be the first candy maker to use those impervious cellophane wrappers. It just wouldn't be Christmas without a giant peppermint candy cane to gnaw on :)

permalink Ω 23 December 2001, Helsinki

I'll take blindness and hairy palms for $600 Alex

I needed something to make me chuckle instead of giving in to my homicidal urges to kill several of my coworkers today. I found Steps to Overcoming Your Masturbation from the Mormon Church while surfing around desperately for something to amuse me. Damn, and I thought the Catholics had baggage...no contest.

permalink Ω 19 December 2001, Helsinki

2001: A word odyssey

As the year winds down and Christmas is just a speedbump on the way to 2002 it becomes time for all the 'lists' of stuff from 2001. While I don't care much for the celebrity lists and top ten blooper lists I do like the 'words of the year' lists. The BBC is currently taking votes for the best words of the year in their e-cyclopedia and the American Dialect Society lists its rather disappointing selection of words and is taking nominations with the winners being announced on 4 January 2002. Go on and vote for your own favourite word since I think there are far far better words than 'evil doers' and other post 9/11 [11/9] words that lack flair, long term usefulness or creativity.

One of my favourite words of the year is Techlish which is something like Engrish only a marriage of technical jargon and English.

permalink Ω 19 December 2001, Helsinki

Network Music for xmas

I generally watch the daily uploads on CPAN with vague interest, occasionally noticing interesting ones like Net::Peep the 'network auralizer'. Well, I think the guy at stimpsoft is either a browser of CPAN or somehow it has become a meme as he just released skwonk [ probably a tribute to Squonk ] an application for the Mac that will take boring old network traffic packets and turn them into music. I'd hate to hear what it would do with an academic network backbone...hmm...I wonder what porn sounds like :)

permalink Ω 18 December 2001, Helsinki

Duck and cover with your yuletide lover...

Since pudge stuck the Venture's Christmas songs in my head all day long I've no choice now but to retaliate. The following is one of my all-time favourite christmas songs, especially this year. It's a classic and even more amusing when you consider that it has been suggested that Larry and Weird Al are the same person :)

Christmas At Ground Zero by Al Yankovic [ Holly Jolly Christmas tune ] It's Christmas at Ground Zero
There's music in the air
The sleigh bells are ringin' and the carolers are singin'
While the air raid sirens blare

It's Christmas at Ground Zero
The button has been pressed
The radio just let us know
That this is not a test

Everywhere the atom bombs are droppin'
It's the end of all humanity
No more time for last minute shoppin'
It's time to face your final destiny

Well, it's Christmas at Ground Zero
There's panic in the crowd
We can dodge debris while we trim the tree
Underneath a mushroom cloud

(siren)

You might hear some reindeer on your rooftop
Or Jack Frost on your windowsill
But if someone's climbin' down your chimney
You better load your gun and shoot to kill

Oh, it's Christmas at Ground Zero
And if the radiation level's okay
I'll go out with you and see the all new
Mutations on New Year's Day

It's Christmas at Ground Zero
Just seconds left to go
I'll duck and cover with my yuletide lover
Underneath the mistletoe

It's Christmas at Ground Zero
Now the missiles are on their way
What a crazy fluke we're gonna get nuked
On this jolly holiday
What a crazy fluke we're gonna get nuked
On this jolly holiday

(siren)

permalink Ω 17 December 2001, Helsinki

Lesdyxics of the World, Untie! :)

Sunday always brings with it my weekly dose of Chiasmus, not to be confused with antimetabole, often making me giggle or think just how often we see and even use this form but seldom notice.

"As they say, the absence of evidence is not evidence of absence." --Secretary of Defense Donald H. Rumsfeld

Maybe we should have a Perl Chiasmus contest this year instead of haiku.

permalink Ω 16 December 2001, Helsinki

Forget the Colt45 get the Magnum!

I heard a commercial for a new product this afternoon making me run for google to confirm that it wasn't a joke. It's no joke, Heineken is offering 3-litre "magnums" of their, uh, beer this holiday season complete with gift box making it ideal for everyone on your holiday shopping list:

"Heineken will offer a limited edition 3-liter bottle shaped like a magnum of champagne this holiday season. The 3-liter bottle, which has test-marketed favorably in the Baltimore/Washington market, will be available for a limited time beginning next month. The 3-liter bottle comes in a special holiday gift box at an average retail price of $24.99."

What is interesting about the success of their test market is that the area is mostly urban poor black, like St. Louis, where 40oz malt liquor is very popular. Apparently, since bigger is always better, Anheuser-Busch decided to double the pleasure of a 40-ounce and release an 80-ounce bottle of malt liquor goodness. :) Mmm...kickin' it with the homeys and a 3-litre bottle of brew is what the holidays were made for.

Can gallon jugs of Night Train adorned with a cheap red bow can be far behind?

permalink Ω 15 December 2001, Helsinki

AmScam on the Flim Flam

A lot of authors used to check their daily rank on Amazon.com with Tom Christiansen's Amarank script or some other home cooked script. Well, now we have AmazonScan.com to entertain ourselves. :)

permalink Ω 14 December 2001, Helsinki

Don't you know Schitt?

Lurking on mailing lists outside your own profession can be fun sometimes since it gets you out of the airlock....Linguists crack me up when they get corny like the following:

"WHO IS JACK SCHITT???

The lineage is finally revealed. Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt!" Read on and you'll be able to handle the situation intelligently. Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, a partner of Kneedeep & Schitt, Inc. Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, and the deeply religious couple begat 6 children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins, Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents' wishes, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. After 15 years of marriage, Jack & Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married a Mr. Sherlock, and out of devotion to her children, decided to hyphenate her last name, and became Noe Schitt-Sherlock. Dip Schitt married a woman named Loda Dung, who became Loda Schitt. The couple produced a nervous son, Chicken Schitt. Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, inseparable throughout childhood subsequently married the Happens brothers. The local newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens wedding, which was quite an event. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He returned from his travels with his Italian bride, Piza Schitt.

So, NOW if someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt," you can beg to differ. You not only know Jack Schitt, but the entire Schitt list!

I wonder if they know Dick :)

permalink Ω 14 December 2001, Helsinki

The Symbol of London under London

Unlike most Londoners I have always loved The Tube, especially the fancy new Jubilee Line which is the only line that connects with all other lines. The Jubilee went into service just in time for the hotly contested Millenium Dome that had fancy urinals [ the ladies room wasn't nearly as interesting ] in addition to a few interesting exhibits. I also have a collection of old underground maps and use the P22 Foundry's Johnston Underground as my default system font. So, I was fairly excited to see a new book released on the history of the Underground, Underground to Everywhere, since most of the previous books on the subject have either disappointed or have gone out of print. The recently published London: The Biography is a delightfully different vignette style history of London that has a few tales about the Underground as well.

And the word of the day is Pinacotheca \Pin`a*co*the"ca\, n. A picture gallery. I asked the guy who has the nice PHP D30 photo album if his code was public since I've just not found anything that I really like as much as his simple and elegant solution...and he is, apparently, going to release it in another week or so. Yes, I'm embracing the dark side but at least I'll have a stylin' photo album :)

permalink Ω 12 December 2001, Helsinki

All I want for Christmas....

A couple of years ago the Perl Packrats, who were originally responsible for creating PAUSE and CPAN, tossed a few ideas around for "The 12 days of Perl Christmas" and "A Christmas Camel". When I was doing the research for the Perl history I actually found something called 'A Christmas Camel' but was disappointed when Larry informed me it wasn't a Dickensian Tale of Perl. I remembered this today and fortunately I kept an archive of these email from Jeff Okamoto, Grep and myself so I thought I'd share a slightly updated version of "The 12 Days of Perl Christmas";

• On the 12th day of Christmas my pumpking gave to me 12 "Thanks Applied!" email.
• On the 11th day of Christmas my pumpking gave to me, 11 P5 Porters porting.
• On the 10th day of Christmas my pumpking gave to me, 10 pedants picking.
• On the 9th day of Christmas my pumpking gave to me, 9 warnings about Locale.
• On the 8th day of Christmas my pumpking gave to me, 8 happy hackers.
• On the 7th day of Christmas my pumpking gave to me, 7 files flocking.
• On the 6th day of Christmas my pumpking gave to me, 6 years of CPAN.
• On the 5th day of Christmas my pumpking gave to me, 5 Subroutines!
• On the 4th day of Christmas my pumpking gave to me, 4 new platforms
• On the 3rd day of Christmas my pumpking gave to me, 3 pragmas
• On the 2nd day of Christmas my pumpking gave to me, 2 Haiku
• On the 1st day of Christmas my pumpking gave to me, 1 5.8 release and no more weekends hacking perl! :)

permalink Ω 12 December 2001, Helsinki

Even Martian guys stuff their pants

While surfing tonight I somehow managed to find a movie that is not only a Christmas B-Movie classic rated #90 on the Bottom 100 movies of all time, but Pia Zadora's very first film...yes, it is Santa Claus Conquers The Martians . I know you are thinking that this movie is begging for a remake. I wonder if they will change the reindeer "Nixon" to "Clinton" :)

permalink Ω 12 December 2001, Helsinki

On the 13th day of christmas my wallet screamed to me....

Years ago I bought one of the first Casio digital cameras made. It was cool at the time but I decided I liked film much better and left the digital cameras to edgers. Well, after having a few disappointing rolls of film recently and having the developer lose a few rolls of film I decided to give digital a try again. A friend of mine is a professional portrait photographer and he firmly believes that digital is the future and that film cameras will be collectors items as soon as 5 years from now. That gave me pause :) So, I currently have a Canon Elan7e and, after shopping around a bit, settled on the Canon EOS D30 since both cameras use the same lenses and I'm familiar with the Canon line of cameras.

So...I bought, I waited, and it arrived today. The reviews didn't lie and I'm exceedingly pleased with the results. Look at an Elan 7e photo vs. a D30 photo of my Macquarium at work. The difference is rather impressive. I'm no Ansel Adams but I'd like to be able to take decent pictures. Hopefully I won't go too Ladnar with the new camera and I'm pretty amazed with the quality of the photographs, the reasonable software they ship with it and most everything else. Pekka Saarinen has a fine gallery of photos taken with a D30. [ no, he's not related to Eero since, apparently, Saarinen is like Smith in Finland :) ] I also really like the photo album software Pekka uses, even if it is PHP.

permalink Ω 12 December 2001, Helsinki

Got Time?

Google now has a 20-year archive of USENET postings and also have a little USENET Timeline in the making. I wouldn't have survived making the Perl Timeline without Google so maybe I'll go dredging for more data in the 'early years' :) While I couldn't find the original comp.sources.unix Perl announcement, I did find another announcement noting that Perl is listed at 3 months of age and the date of the message is May 1987 :) And the first posting of the Perl FAQ. A complete time sink this is....

Also, I found something cooler and cheaper than ginger, TH!NK, a division of Ford Motor Co. I love the little go cart :)

permalink Ω 11 December 2001, Helsinki

All-American Open Source?

Every once in a while we get an interesting question on the CPAN list and today someone asked if "Are all the modules on this site U.S.? If so, where can i find proof of it on the site?" Jarkko noted that the email address was that of a government security contractor so the question became even more curious. I sent the person an email asking the reason behind the question and, apparently, it is a requirement the government has that security stuff be all verifiable 'US' code.

Interesting.

So, what I want to know now is how does one define 100% US Choice Code and how do they plan to keep it that way considering the internet blurs lines of nationality. So...how does someone define "US" code?

permalink Ω 10 December 2001, Helsinki

Fictionary of the future

OpenBSD finally installed on my Sparc with not too much hassle. If you are considering the sparc64 platform be warned that it has spotty driver support for some of the PCI cards and be sure to repartition the boot disk even if the partition utility says it's happy with everything from the formerly solaris labelled disk. Even as a still-in-kinda-beta operating system on sparc64 it does so many things right including the pkg_add ports utility. It is also a treat to run something other than Solaris on a sun4u box for a change.

In spite of my loathing of aptly named Faith Popcorn [ mostly air and nutrient free ], I picked up a copy of Dictionary of the Future this weekend. While most of the book is filled with Junk English, marketspeak and blatant pandering to her Boomer generation there are a few words that have promise;

• Elderotica - erotica for senior citizens. [ I thought erotica was 'ageless' ]
• Abzyme - enzymes that have certain properties of antibodies.
• Genetocracy - the new genetic aristocracy; see also genetrification.
• Free-Range Children - 21st century kids who are raised in the spirit of an earlier era. [ I have no idea what in the hell she means but it's making me hungry :) ]
• Fight Chat - family counselors will soon discover the internet as marriage therapy for feuding couples and have them fight via IM or IRC. [ Yeah, if you can't communicate in person the internet via IRC will make it MUCH better! The first rule of about Fight Chat is that we don't talk about Fight Chat! ]
• National Parent Permits - A movement will emerge to assure [sic] that parents are prepared, educated and capable of bringing up healthy and productive children. Major manufacturers and service providers will give discounts and special benefits to those with permits. [ Not a bad idea but I suspect she's never been in a room full of parents and mentioned this idea...she's still alive. ]
• Telesprawl - Urban sprawl created by telecommuting workers.
• Permalance - the merger of permanent and freelance in the new economy.
• CoHo - short for corporate home office.
• Groligarchy - describes the concentration of agriculture and food-production power in the hands of a few agribusiness giants; see also foodopoly.
• Karaoke Managers - a style of lip-synch management where you mouth the buzzwords and platitudes of your superiors.
• Bachelor Herds - in societies where wealthy older men are allowed to acquire young new wives, the result is herds of angry young single men.
• Authethnic - Cultural expressions of all kinds that are unadulterated and unmodified by the American homogenization process.
• BABOONS - baby boomer. no savings. [ brilliant word :) ]
• Wired to Failure - the unintended result of Internet access in the majority of American Classroom; see also Empty Luggage Syndrome.
• IMB - A coming acronym for "I mean business". When consumers choose the most industrial-strength option when a far more modest solution will do.
• Orthorexia - an unhealthy obsession with eating healthy and avoiding even the slightest bit of fat, preservatives or salt.
• Camoflanguage - language that seeks to hide rather than illuminate.
• Sarchasm - the gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the recipient who doesn't get it.
• Unobtanium - a combination of 'unobtainable' and 'titanium'. [ cute ]
• Burn - your available cash.
• Stegotext - ordinary looking text carrying encoded information.
• Netlag - dissociation that comes from spending so much time on-line that we expect the rest of life to keep pace.
• Wristicuffs - fighting via email.
• BuySexuals - describes those who cross-shop at status stores and Wal-Mart.
• Infophobia - a psychological problem marked by the fear of being uninformed.
• Carcoon - cars are becoming cocoons of their own.
• SHUV - an accident caused by a SUV.

permalink Ω 10 December 2001, Helsinki

The "Symbolic Muscle"

Installing either OpenBSD or NetBSD on a Sparc64 box is a bit of a chore....hurry up, wait, scan readme, try again, etc. Neither distribution is polished to the point of simplicity or even functionality just yet. In the lull of installation excitement I was cleaning out my inbox and looked at a book Amazon recommended a while back and, upon looking, found another more interesting book; A Mind of Its Own: A Cultural History of the Penis. Since Perl has so many Dicks it's sure to be riveting reading. :) And, a book for every ActiveState employee on your Christmas list is How to Manage your DICK. One of these days I'm going to have to open my own bookshop. :)

permalink Ω 9 December 2001, Helsinki

Huked awn phawniks werked fer me....

My sisters Gayle and Anne had the misfortune of being treated to one of the worst educational fads of the last century, Phonics. Neither of them can spell worth a damn even now so I'm a bit disturbed to see it still alive and kicking.

Ever wonder where passenger planes go to die? Well, now you can buy parts from the boneyard just in case you have always wanted to decorate your house like a 747 or maybe you want to build your own unique airframe home.

And, after all the hubbub over the ginger thing this week, one article exposes how this new device will replace walking in a society that could use a walk around the cube farm more often. Close to 20% of America is obese, one in 5 people, which any trip to the shopping mall will tell you is true and it's becoming a huge problem for kids as well. So, why is this thing that replaces walking such a boon? and will they make it able to withstand the tare weight of someone who weighs 250+ pounds? Walking is simple, it's healthful and it doesn't weigh 80 pounds or cost $3k either. "the first enhancement to personal travel that fully integrates the user in the pedestrian world." Whatever. Try walking for a change. Save $2,900 and go buy a nice pair of walking shoes instead.

permalink Ω 8 December 2001, Helsinki

Ocean's Eleven

We went to see Ocean's Eleven tonight and I haven't seen a show sell out like this since, gee, a Star Wars sequel. All I can say is that, though it is not the 'brat pack' original, it's a damn fine movie on par with the brilliant original version of Thomas Crown Affair. If you are concerned about being assaulted by too much of Julia Roberts, go anyway since she's only there for decoration, has few lines and we are mercifully spared and left to enjoy the rest of the movie. It was funny, too, when we were leaving and I overheard some guy tell his buddy "So, I don't get it. Everyone was laughing but I didn't get it. Was it funny?" I predict it will get 7 Academy Award Nominations especially since this years movies have been so unmemorable. Go see it. :)

permalink Ω 8 December 2001, Helsinki

Teengers download porn, News at 11!

Only in America would the fact that teenagers are using their laptops to download porn be a newsworthy item. I should volunteer to teach a class showing all the kids how to use PGP on their macs to keep them out of trouble and to keep their parents thinking that the kids still buy the stork story. I mean, it's all the laptop and Internet's fault since kids used to have to go down and buy Playboy Magazine at a seedy liquor store, right? Of course, we wouldn't want parents talking to their children about what porn is and why it is often offensive to people as that would require actual parent-child communication about S - E - X. No, we'll just punish all the kids and tell them it's bad to make it even more popular than ever before!

permalink Ω 7 December 2001, Helsinki

Beaming up the OED

The OED is hunting for the earliest citations of some Science Fiction words. Perl will be in the upcoming new edition of the OED and they publicly admitted to using Perl so I suppose it's the least we could do to return the favour :)

permalink Ω 6 December 2001, Helsinki

Linguistic Profiling

One of the linguistic mailing lists I'm on mentioned that ABC News had a piece about linguistic profiling on tonights news. It is an interesting facet to what we are calling 'Racial Profiling' these days but used to be called 'Discrimination'. It is incredibly pervasive since how you hear someone can alter how you think about them without you consciously noticing it. Take the test and see how you do.

Dr. Clifford Nass studies how people react to voices and has some research on gender stereotyping in computer generated speech.

"Our studies show," reports Dr. Nass, "that directions from a female voice are perceived as less accurate than those from a male voice, even when the voices are reading the exact same directions. Deepness helps, too. It implies size, height, and authority. Deeper voices are more credible."

The abstract is an interesting read and thought provoking for a community who really wants to believe we are completely magnanimous. Perhaps more people who are willing to look at such unpleasant problems underneath the veneer of "Equal" will help eradicate this in a few generations. I'll keep on practising my Darth Vader voice until then....

permalink Ω 6 December 2001, Helsinki

Nibbles Yorewalletaway

Who would have thought a chair made out of tubular steel and surgical tubing "manually intertwined in a deliberately random way" named Anemone would ever sell for $2,650 USD? Perhaps the answer can be found in the "poetic ransfiguration of an ordinary material". It's the techno-hipster-with-too-much-money answer to the Papasan Chair.

Speaking of large amounts of cash, I have been following the UK and the Euro fairly closely lately as it's really hard to tell if the UK will cave and embrace the euro or clutch tradition on the way to the bottom of the channel. I mean, can this be any more damaging to the psyche than building a tunnel to France? :)

And...sad and pathetic factoid of the day from Harper's Index.

Number of years since 1776 in which no nation was at war: 0

permalink Ω 6 December 2001, Helsinki

Nibbles Woodaway

On the way to the Providence, R.I. airport the other night I nearly drove off the highway when I was startled by the coolest holiday lighting display yet; The New England Pest Control 4,000 pound termite completely adorned in red, white and blue lights, giant red bulb for a nose and antlers. Apparently his name is Nibbles Woodaway and he's exactly 920 times the size of a subterranean termite. Now I just have to figure out how I'm going to get a picture of him.

permalink Ω 6 December 2001, Helsinki

Zombie Gore Porn

What is Zombie Gore Porn? mmmm....gorn. I'll bet the actors didn't go to Cosmo's Sex University...

permalink Ω 5 December 2001, Helsinki

When it rains, it pours™...books

In the continuing stream of boutique and niche histories, the man who brought us Cod: A Biography of the Fish that Changed the World has just published a new book, Salt: A World History, that I spied today in a Gloucester bookshop. Salt played a role in so many parts of human civilisation that it is terribly ambitious to do a complete world history of the substance but, since Cod was so well done I'm sure the author does a reasonable job.

permalink Ω 5 December 2001, Helsinki

I miss Aslan....

Apparently, someone who spells oriented as orientated (UK) has spent the time to detail not only the mystery of the title change between the US and the UK versions of the Harry Potter book, Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, but the nitty gritty language differences as well. I've also sent an email to Scholastic Publishers to ask them why they changed the title since they are the responsible party. We'll see what they have to say to this no doubt hackneyed question.

I think it's just a big scam to produce more collectibles :)

permalink Ω 4 December 2001, Helsinki

Uncle OSM's Guide to Covert Dating

Words cannot describe my glee and amusement with Uncle OSM's Guide to Covert Dating ....as nothing could make me laugh with more gusto than a bunch of teenage guys discussing the female orgasm. Brilliant for a belly laugh :)

permalink Ω 4 December 2001, Helsinki

Junk English

Ken Smith has a new book, Junk English that may cause just about anyone with proper knowledge of the English language to squeak with amusement...and shame :) He's the same guy who wrote Mental Hygiene , an amusing look at educational films and Ken's Guide to the Bible that left me worn out from laughing too much. He did not, however write Run Naked, Run Free . Junk English has a wonderful collection of bones it picks on but one I found particularly close to home:

Nonprofit. A common confusion is that a nonprofit or not-for-profit organization is one that exists for the general welfare rather than for private gain. After all, if an organization doesn't exist to make a profit, its purpose--and, by proxy, the intent of the people who work within it--must be noble and altruistic.

Nonprofit or not-for-profit, however, apply only to the accounting methods used by the organization and have no bearing on what positions the organization supports. And while the organization cannot by law make a profit, the individuals within it can. Many nonprofit executives profit handsomely from their work.

In the wake of 9/11 there are more stories every day about how this or that charity has abused, mishandled or otherwise completely bungled the philanthropy of millions of people. It's tragic.

permalink Ω 4 December 2001, Helsinki

Citius, Altius, Fortius

A new book, Unlocking the Clubhouse is soon to be published and is the result of several years of research on the past, present and continuing gender gap in computing. Wired even ran an article on Saturday, IT: The Industry without Women detailing the size of the chasm and how Europe is trying to recruit and retain more women in IT. This is all well and good but I think they are all looking in the wrong place for answers when the questions begin not at age 25 but at age 2.

I know quite a few of the Perl guys have very young daughters so this may be a topic of interest. One such father had an article on Salon.com today about My Britney problem -- and yours as he has a 5 year old daughter and wonders what it all means. I caught about 5 mins of the Britney Vegas concert and even I was a wee bit aghast at the costumes and the overt 'whore' look on such a young girl. I always loved Madonna [ more often than some of her music ] as she radiated a smart sexy take-no-shit kind of attitude while taunting and flaunting her sexuality...and I sense none of this in Britney. She seems a 2-dimensional wannabe Madonna.

I empathise with the father as, in a world where girls are told that math is hard, looking good with a pound or two of make-up on and anorexic gauntness is more valued in a woman, Britney and her ilk do nothing to help his daughter avoid the path of least resistance or boys to expect more than titties, ass and unquestioning submission from girls. There are so many reinforcements in all the images we are bombarded with everyday online, on TV and in print that it would seem nearly impossible. Even Fiji reported having a sharp increase in eating disorders and poor body image after the arrival of TV.

One hope is not waiting until 25 to ask girls 'why didn't you choose CS?' but to start expecting greater things from them as parents when they are 2 through 18 years of age. My father taught me to play chess at 5 so we would have something to do together in the morning before school, my mother nearly assaulted a librarian for denying to loan me an adult level book when I was 8 and both of them fully expected all of us, my 3 sisters and myself, would go to college, graduate and have careers. It simply wasn't a question or an option to do anything else.

My mother asked "Why?" when she heard Jarkko and I eloped mostly because, to her mind, why would I need to get married since I own my own home, have my own career and am getting a bit long in the tooth for babies....and I imagine that, with her career, had expectations been different in the early 1950s she might never have gotten married herself. I never thought having both parents working and making us go for what we wanted was unusual until I started noticing that when I was 30 that I was nearly alone in being in technology and single. I remained the only girl out of my all girl highschool class both unwed and with a career. All the rest had gotten married and were having kids named Reginald and 'Trip' as a nickname for Foo Bar, III. After a little research I found out that my mother was the only one who worked full-time and sometimes full-time++ since she also taught classes in the med school at night. I think that's a rather interesting statistic...one that may mean something since a working mother does create a different impression upon young girls than ones who do not.

It is my firm belief that people rise to the level of the expectations presented to them in a personal and meaningful fashion. So, maybe it's time that parents started expecting more from their daughters and not simply accepting that an education is merely preparation for marriage and children, not a serious intellectually challenging career. And maybe they could teach the boys how to vacuum, dust, do laundry, clean up after themselves and grocery shop at the same time. :)

permalink Ω 3 December 2001, Helsinki

L'Anti Noël Avant L'Temps

While enjoying the December issue of Harper's Magazine I noticed a blurb in the "Readings" section that may be of interest to daveorg and others. On page 16, a small box titled "You Better Watch Out" enclosed the following:

"Halloween has ended. Before Halloween it was autumn, and after Halloween autumn continues. Do you agree?

The leaves lie scattered on the soil, the atmosphere is calm and romantic; it is the dead season and many are rejoicing. Right? It is part of a whole season, a beautiful season, and one that does not officially end until the twenty-first of December. Are you listening?

Winter is far off, and Christmas does not exist outside of winter. Christmas=winter. Autumn-tranquillity, peace of mind. You see what we want to say, no?

We are L'A.N.A.L.T. ( L'Anti Noël Avant L'Temps)

We are a group of people who are saddened and frustrated by your ill breeding. We refuse to let you destroy autumn for a reason as prenicious and disgusting as making a little bit of money. Everybody knows that Christmas is coming. You're going to make the same kind of cash! So, if you please, everything has its time.

We demand that you take down all of your Christmas decorations without delay, and not put them back up until the first of December. If not, we are going to strike again.

N.B. Do not take this lightly. We are SERIOUS."

This was a notice sent last November to merchants in Montreal whose stores were decorated for Christmas. This caused a bit of a stir only after they vandalised fourteen business that did not comply with their demands. I couldn't find any news articles or a web page for the group espousing their agenda but sans terrorism I like the idea of the group and their mission; No Christmas Before Its Time.

n.b. - I love the english language, yes, yes I do. Google produced a name for these folks that I will have to have stitched into a sweatshirt or somesuch:

I'm sure this could be applied not only to being afraid of the jolly fat guy who sneaks into houses via the chimney but also to those awful snack cakes called "Ho-Hos". :)

permalink Ω 2 December 2001, Helsinki

Merry Megawatt Christmas

I am not terribly fond of John Grisham, the author, but recently bought a copy of Skipping Christmas as I was in need of a bit of fluff reading and figured it doesn't get much fluffier than a Grisham Novel. It's a story about a couple who decide to go on a cruise instead of doing the whole Christmas thing of lights, parties, presents, etc. Seems simple enough until the neighborhood engages in a bit of suburban terrorism since their house is the only one on the street without lights. This happens in real life so no shock value there. However, it reads like a Stephen King novel about a couple being attacked by the Christmas cheer mafia and their daughter. If you are moving to suburbia but have reservations don't read this book. :)

I spent about 5 hours tonight driving around Lexington, Woburn, Burlington, Rockport, Glouchester, Lanesville and Essex looking for inspired holiday lighting displays to capture on film. I bought a tripod and some Ilford 3200 black & white film a few weeks ago in preparation. I was a little uncomfortable at first to jump out of my car with photographic equipment and take photos while people were in residence but after the first shots it got easier. One couple even came out to say hello and tell me the story of their creation.

I'm still not finished but after one night of driving around I noticed that there are a lot fewer people with holiday lights and even fewer with truly inspired displays than in the past. The patriotic theme of red, white and blue is very popular this year. I found a flag on the side of a house in coloured lights and denuded trees seemed to be the most popular choice to adorn with patriotic strands of light.

Today was the arrival of Santa in Rockport by lobster boat. Rockport has an almost Whoville-like Christmas as once Santa arrives, he is driven around the Neck, he lights the Christmas tree in the square and then everyone in town gathers around with hot chocolate and sings carols with Santa leading from the old Rockport firetruck. It was 71F in Eastern MA so it was lacking the usual bitter cold and the threat of snow. However lacking in appropriate festive weather the Rockport Christmas tree is absolutely lovely. It is adorned with red, white and blue lights, shiny foil stars, red balls and big bows emblazoned with a flag motif. I helped decorate the Rockport tree for a few years when I lived there and prefer a more traditional theme but, as trees go, it is quite a sight. I hope the photos of it turn out and I may have to go back with some colour film to capture the red, white and blue theme.

permalink Ω 2 December 2001, Helsinki