Good Things™ for the craft impaired
Martha has a project in the December issue of Martha Stewart Living that doesn't require a live-in staff or maximizing your time by crocheting snowflakes for months whenever you sit in the loo for 5 minutes or more. Behold the pinup wreath where all you need is a 14 inch wooden embroidery hoop which you can obtain at any craft store, 15-20 small wooden clothespins and a bottle of wood glue. A bit of festive ribbon to hang it with is a nice touch as well. Simply glue the clothespins onto the hoop in 1.5 or so inch intervals while alternating direction, let the glue dry and hang. It's a cool little idea as Christmas cards don't look quite right on the fridge and this will display them in rather festive fashion :)
21 Nov 2002 at 0:10, Helsinki
I hope the US Armed Forces use GPS
In an utterly appalling article today, CNN reported that 87% of Americans between the ages of 18 and 24 cannot find Iraq on a political map in a survey administered by National Geographic. How utterly disgraceful to be prepared to go to war with a country and not have any idea where it is, especially considering we have already had one war with them 10 years ago. On a map of the world, I have marked Afghanistan and Iraq with a little fez hat if any of those people happen to be reading this.
My parents always subscribed to National Geographic Magazine which often came with maps and always had pictures of exotic places I would fantasize about seeing in person some day. Daddy bought me a National Geographic political globe for Christmas when I was 8 that had a really cool plastic guide for tracking the position of the sun over the course of the year. I can't fathom such a profound ignorance of geography as it is not only who you are but where you are and where everyone else is. For those with kids it's never to early to subscribe to NG Mag or get an Atlas of the World to foster an interest in what lies outside and around the world. Jarkko and I have at least 12 of them :)
B.A.R.K.S.
Since HB is an old dog he has the expected stiffness and pains that come with being geriatric and the vet gave me a short course of Rimadyl® after a short bout of limping he had recently. I like to be knowledgeable about the drugs I consume so I was curious about this drug as he hasn't had any prescriptions for anything since he was a puppy. What I found elsewhere on the web scared me a bit and gave me some serious concerns about giving the drug to HB.
While there is no conclusive evidence to prove that Rimadyl® causes death there are enough stories and statistics the Senior Dogs Project have neatly organised to warrant any pet owner to be very cautious in dispensing the drug to their pets and be educated in the toxicity warning signs. Don't be a statistic and tell friends with pets to read up as being aware of the side effects could save a lot of cherished pets lives. I may print out a few of the B.A.R.K.S. posters, laminate them and post them along the bike path for other pet owners to read.
Jesus rides the bus
I really dislike the leviathan SUVs which terrorize the roadways these days almost as much as I dislike organised religion but I ran across What Would Jesus Drive? today and thought that religion might actually be useful for something. Hey, if it takes a directive from a remote deity to get you to recognise the Earth is a finite resource and that we're doing a pretty damn good job of destroying it faster with every passing year then get to it. Advocating public transportation and bikeways! Divine! Go Jesus, Go!.
Adorable :)
The raincoat I ordered for HB earlier this week arrived today just in time for a Nor'easter to bring snow/sleet/rain. I put it on him and took him with us up to town to get a sandwich and walk back on the Minuteman bikeway among the fall leaves and the snow. He got quite a lot of attention from people passing by on the sidewalk. I took my camera along since the woman who made the coat wanted a picture or two of her handiwork on HB and I must admit he looks pretty adorable :)
The raincoat is also lined with a nice black and red plaid flannel fabric so it's nice and soft without being bulky. The only nits I have are the clasps which look like they'll probably rust over time but I can probably replace them fairly easily with rubber coated ones and it slides back a bit when he walks so I'll rig some velcro ties to attach secure it to his collar to help prevent that. Other than that it's terrific to have such a nice raincoat for him to wear in inclement weather and he even seems to like wearing it :)
High-tech Dog Tags
I've been worried about HB getting lost somewhere between boarding the plane in Boston and arriving in Helsinki via Iceland and Stockholm so when I saw dog e-tags I had to get one for him. Chipping him is expensive and impossible for the average person to get information from but the e-tag has a 40-line capacity so I can put in both US and Finnish contacts as well as our names and flights should he somehow get misdirected en route.
Muttluks
Since I'm getting HB a nice warm raincoat I figured I'd go ahead and get him a pair of Muttluks for his paws. He's hasn't been made to walk in rain, cold and snow for at least 6 years and now that he's a spry 11 it isn't a bad idea to make the transition to Nordic urban living as easy and as comfortable as possible. I can already see the look of scorn burning holes through my skull as I put them on his paws :)
HB is going to visit the Vet on Wednesday for getting a couple of cysts removed, his nails clipped [ required for flying and he won't let me do it ], a gonadectomy and his round of vaccinations required for entering Finland except for the wormer which will have to wait until a week or three before we fly. I'm a little nervous about his getting an anesthetic for the first time at such an old age but he needs to have all this stuff done. I'll be a bit of a wreck until I can go collect him from the doctor's office. He'll probably guilt me into a week of extra scooby snacks and steak once he comes home and glares at me for leaving him to the Vet for the day :)
Patriotism is the Rohypnol of the American Public
Pudge had a journal entry today about yet another 'switcher' parody only this time it's an an American Expat who loves Canada and who is selling stickers to help defray the application fees for Canadian Citizenship. Maybe I'll make one over Thanksgiving for expatriating to Finland and Pudge won't be able to say that I'm from anywhere but the US :)
D.O.G.
In my quest for warm winter clothing to beef up my wardrobe it occured to me that I should find a warm raincoat for Honeybear since he's going to have to go out on the lead rain or shine once we're in Helsinki. He doesn't smell very terrific when he's wet so getting him some rainwear is a practical investment.
I don't think of HB, my 135 pound St. Bernard, as a large dog until I try to buy him something and find that the XL might cover half of his torso. I may have to consider hefty trash bags or checking the equestrian catalogues for something in pony sizes. :)
Dog Outer Gear [ D.O.G. ] has some really nice coats but even their Great Dane size isn't large enough. I sent them an email to see if maybe they can make a larger one for HB. k9apparel also makes some nice rainwear but seemingly only for greyhounds. On the chance that D.O.G. can't make a larger coat for HB I went ahead and ordered an Outward Hound XL Rain Coat since it looks adjustable and in the right weight range. It also has pockets on the side which may prove useful and reflective strips for walking in the dark.
I also found Doggles which HB would never allow himself to wear but I think he'd look adorable in a pair with his raincoat on while ambling through downtown Helsinki like some sort of post-modern cow. :)
I FOUND ONE! :) By adding the word 'horse' to my 'large dog raincoat' query on google I stumbled across My Dog's Overcoat where XXXXL really means Large. :) The coats look like little miniature horse blankets made just for dogs. So, I measured my little pony and sent in my order and will hopefully get a properly sized raincoat for him before we depart.
Snow Sold Separately
People who are anal retentive even in recreational activites such as building a snowman will appreciate the new Snowman Kit from Lands End:
Everything you need to build a perfect snowman — except the snow. Kit includes a "carrot" nose, two "coal" eyes, three blue buttons and a "corncob" pipe — all made of solid wood. There's even a red Polartec® scarf to keep your snowman warm. Arrives in a burlap storage sack. Made in USA.
All this for a mere $29.00! I'm surprised they don't offer a deluxe edition complete with carbon fibre twiglet arms and a hand-made quaker broom to really up the ante in the neighbourhood decor.
Meetings: None of us is as dumb as all of us
Despair, Inc. has their new 2003 Calendar ready for all those people on your Christmas list who need a little cynical realism in their lives. You know the kind, they are cheerful people who use the words 'community' and 'teamwork' all the time but have drunk too much of the 'people-ade' to notice that life is rarely as happy-happy joy-joy as they desperately try to think it is.
As Founder, President and Chairperson of Cynics International, we'd like to invite you to embrace the bitter and glorious truths the 2003 Demotivators calendar presents each and every month of the year. Join us, won't you? :)
Eyesores are universal
Even if you cannot read Finnish you can just browse the archive of Helsinki architecture replaced by eyesores to understand the impact the crack induced abominations of the 50s, 60s and 70s had around the world.
Cookie Cutter Menagerie
I think I'm on every catalogue mailing list on the planet since I receive at least 5 of them every day which contain varying amounts of useless crap. I look through them for laughs and today I noticed that Williams-Sonoma, a shop legendary for overpriced yuppie kitchen stuff, has a set of 10 animal cookie cutters that includes a camel for under $20. The ORA animal and perl obsessed might be enthused by this :)
Movin' on up
So now that we've sold the house in the US I can now think about the house we bought in downtown Helsinki. I like living either in the city center or out in the country and we opted for the city center since I'll have an easier time adjusting in an urban environment. The city offers more people who speak English and who will help me learn Finnish as well as being near cultural events without having to drive anywhere. I won't be driving in Finland for a while since I have a lead foot and Finland is serious about enforcing speed limits with tickets based on a percentage of your income which one Nokia VP learned the hard way to the tune of $100k.
The floorplan gives you a general idea of the apartment. Jarkko was in Helsinki last week and took some photos of the entryway, the kitchen, the living room and dining room, the front of the building, and the bookshop just downstairs which could prove hazardous :). Maybe I can get a job in the shop or even buy it and run it myself. The Lord Hotel is right across the street, a lovely hotel wedged in between some less attractive modern architecture. Just around the corner is a park under renovation that will even have a doggie run when it's finished early next year which I'm sure Honeybear will appreciate if it's large enough for him :)
I haven't seen the apartment myself but it looks like I could live there though the only disappointment is that it's not a terribly sunlit abode but, one doesn't move to Finland to get a tan or bask in the sun for most of the year either. The most important feature is that it will be equipped with high-speed network access :) I'm starting to be both excited and a wee bit terrified of the move which will hopefully subside once we arrive.
I bought a bunch of neat pop-up change of address cards that I'm writing the new address onto and will post them soon since I don't plan to have a coherent thought in the last few weeks before we move. Hopefully some of the people I send them to will send me care packages of junk food I never eat now but will surely miss once I'm away and books/magazines that I won't be able to get easily in Helsinki. One good care package or a postcard or a letter can really make your month sometimes.
I feel a sin coming on...
New book and magazine finds for those with cash burning a hole in your pocket:
For the language lovers there is A Word A Day: A Romp Through Some of the Most Unusual and Intriguing Words in English by the person who is known for the AWAD mailing list and Predicting New Words: The Secrets of Their Success by the current Executive Secretary of the American Dialect Society.
A Dictionary of Weights, Measures, and Units just published by OUP will be handy for just about anyone ever confused or lost in the abundant array of units of measurement.
Joe Queenan, quite possibly one of the most ascerbic and funny writers of our time, compiled The Malcontents: The Best Bitter, Cynical, and Satirical Writing in the World which pays tribute to the grumpier literati throughout history.
Among the Gently Mad: Strategies and Perspectives for the Book Hunter in the Twenty-First Century will appeal to bibliophiles who enjoyed the authors previous works including Patience and Fortitude: A Roving Chronicle of Book People, Book Places, and Book Culture
For the technical, Digital Typography using LaTeX is one of the best books for multi-lingual TeX I've ever seen and would recommend it to beginners and advanced users alike. Ruling the Root : Internet Governance and the Taming of Cyberspace is an interesting and timely read given the currrent problems with ICANN and the recent attacks on the root servers.
The Lunar Men which tells the story of 5 scientists in the 1700s whose discoveries helped bring about the industrial revolution. Brotherhood of the Bomb: The Tangled Lives and loyalties of Robert Oppenheimer, Ernest Lawrence, and Edward Teller is an excellent book for any bomb history enthusiast as it details some of the stories of what really when on between the scientists, usually only mentioned in passing in other works, and serves to make them more real instead of mythical figures of scientific discoveries past.
Seed Magazine is a recent Canadian periodical aimed at "Science and Popular Culture". It's like Wired only with less focus on type and layout and more focus on actual content. It has promise and I hope it doesn't go the way of Wired. A very cute and surprisingly good magazine for the dogerati is The Bark with everything from how to lobby for dog parks to doggie poetry to the latest in doggie gadgets.
And, lastly, I Feel A Sin Coming On, a collection of hilarious postcards to amuse your friends or leave on the fridge to scare the babysitter. :)
Food for the Wordy
The wordy set might find the following publication subscription-worthy [ found on the American Dialect Society website ]:
“Allan Metcalf mentions Comments on Etymology, an on-paper newsletter edited by Gerald Cohen. Allan says, "for anyone seriously interested in the origins of American expressions, especially slang ones, CoE is indispensable. For anyone not-so-seriously interested, it's entertaining and engaging." The newsletter includes heavy and regular contributions by Barry Popik. To subscribe, send $13 (if an individual; $17 if an institution), payable to "Comments on Etymology," to Gerald Cohen, Dept of Applied Arts and Cultural Studies, University of Missouri-Rolla, Rolla, MO 65401.”
Also, the long-awaited 4th volume of Dictionary of American Regional English is scheduled to be released in December by HUP. I hope I can get a copy before leaving the continent since the 3 volumes I have are so well done and so interesting that I'd really like to keep the series going on my bookshelf. :)
Selling off the American Dream
For more than 4 weeks I did just about everything I could to make the house look good for the impending open house as, with the holidays just around the corner, I wanted to sell it quickly. It did :) I baked two apple pies and the Finnish secret weapon, Korvapuustit [ cinnamon ears ], brewed some coffee and got the hell out of dodge for 6 hours. When I was informed by my broker that we had 3 offers from the open house I was amazed since I was prepared to wait a while given that the market around here had cooled considerably after the buying frenzy over the summer.
It is a strange experience when you sell or buy a house as it resembles an arranged marriage because the real estate agents insulate you from the other party while assessing the suitability of the match and only allowing you to meet each other at the consumation cum closing. Of the three offers, one was a single woman, one was a newlywed couple who weren't working with an agent and attached a rather naive note onto their bid about how I wouldn't have to pay broker fees since they weren't working with one and an older couple who noticed the house was wired with cat5 and have a 13 year-old boy who wants a dog but can't have one in the apartment they are renting. You know, I'm a grumpy old cur but the bit about the kid wanting a dog yanked all the right strings. It may be a complete fabrication but I admire the craft and care with which it was conceived.
The catch of selecting an older couple who had been looking for a house they liked and in their price range for over a year was that they had the house inspector from hell. It's not a large house but they took 4 hours combing through every last detail. My agent called me and let me know that it was going to go very long. Needless to say the next 4 days of waiting was pretty nerve wracking and when they came back with insignificant nits I was relieved but also a little annoyed. After spending $8500 to get the house painted it seemed absurd to offer them $200 off the price. This is New England though and Yankees just aren't satisfied until they feel like they've gotten a deal, no matter how insignificant the sum.
So, now we're just waiting for the radon test results to come back since the first set was rendered invalid due to it not being left out long enough. Our movers show up on 7 January, we move to a hotel for 2 weeks on 9 January, the closing is on 10 January and we take a one-way trip to .fi on 23 January. The thousand or so little other details that need to be taken care of before then seem trivial now that the most important one is done.
Finnish secret weapon
Cinnamon Ears (Korvapuustit)
The Great Scandinavian Baking Book by Beatrice Ojakangas, 1999, ISBN 0-8166-3496-3
Dough
- 2 packages active dry yeast
- 1 cup warm water, 105-115˚F
- 1/2 cup melted butter
- 3 sllightly beaten eggs
- 1/2 teaspoon salt
- 1 teaspoon ground cardamom (optional)
- 4.5-5 cups all-purpose flour
Filling
- 1/2 cup soft butter
- 1/2 cup sugar
- 1 tablespoon ground cinnamon
Glaze
- 1 slightly beaten egg
- 2 tablespoons milk
- pearl sugar or crushed sugar cubes
In a large bowl, dissolve yeast in the warm water and let stand 5 minutes. Stir in 1/2 cup melted butter, 1/2 cup sugar, the eggs, salt, cardamom, and 4.5 cups flour until dough is smooth. Cover and refrigerate 2-24 hours.
Sprinkle board with some of the remaining flour. Divide dough into 2 parts. Turn out onto lightly floured board, and roll each part out to make a rectangle about 12 inches by 24 inches long. Spread each half with half the butter and sprinkle with half the sugar and cinnamon. Roll up, starting from a 24-inch side. cut each roll diagonally into 12 pieces. Each piece will be about 1/2 inch on one side and 3 inches thick on the other. With two thumbs, press down the middle of the side of each roll. In so doing the two cut edges will be forced upward. The rolls will resemble “ears.” See figure.
Cover 2 baking sheets with parchment or lightly grease them. Place cinnamon ears on prepared baking sheets. Let rise until puffy. Mix the egg and milk to make a glaze. Brush rolls with the glaze and sprinkle with the pearl sugar.
Preheat over to 400˚F. Bake for 8 to 10 minutes or just until golden. Makes 24 rolls
