Safire shocks and awes

William Safire's On Language column today has a couple of timely bits on the new war language popping up and I'm not sure if I'm comforted by being reminded that jingoistic renaming of things isn't new and was actually quite popular during WWI.

FREEDOM FRIES

An Order of Fries, Please, but Do Hold the French was the headline in The New York Times over an article about an outbreak of France-bashing at the U.S. Capitol.

Representative Bob Ney, chairman of the committee responsible for House operations, ordered the word French stricken from all of the chamber's menus: henceforth, the potatoes laden with cholesterol were to be labeled freedom fries. The Ohio congressman, who is of French descent and who speaks the language fluently, was immediately assailed by Representative Barney Frank of Massachusetts for making Congress look even sillier than it sometimes looks. . . . There is a potential war going on.

(A potential war going on? That's a contradiction in terms: the essence of potentiality, rooted in the Latin for power,is existence only in possibility. It cannot be both a possibility for the future and an event taking place at present. What the congressman meant to say, I think, was that a debate was going on about a potential war.)

The retaliatory nomenclature was instantly spoofed: what was to be next -- freedom toast, freedom dressing? Would orchestras feature a freedom horn? Would lovers, who long ago abandoned the euphemism French letter for the direct word condom, now also turn away from the French kiss? (That locution, also called a soul kiss, involves the insertion of the tongue into the osculatory partner's mouth; both these terms are now considered old-fashioned by teenagers, who -- after a brief flirtation with the odious sucking face -- turned for a time to the puckish tonsil hockey, which has a sporting rather than an international connotation.)

The jingoistic practice of changing the language to ride with current political tides was most prevalent in World War I, when sauerkraut temporarily became liberty cabbage or pickled vegetables, hamburger was referred to as Salisbury steak, Germania Life Insurance became Guardian Life and dachshunds were called liberty pups. (Frankfurters had earlier become known as hot dogs. About the only common phrase with the name of our enemy in it that was left largely intact during that war was German measles.) The English language is resilient, resistant to manipulation; after our irritation with French foreign policy passes, members of the House of Representatives will go back to gorging themselves on French fries.

I think a column I read a few weeks back has a better idea than removing French from the American lexicon;

If chauvinistic warmongers want to start renaming stuff, it should be Iraqi stuff. There's probably not much point in going after Iraqi food such as masgoof (barbecued fish) and pacha (sort of an Iraqi haggis) because Americans don't eat them. A better idea would be to tear out every page in the Bible that features an Iraqi place name, such as Babylon, Babel, the Garden of Eden, Nineveh, and Ur. The Christian right will object, but we all have to make sacrifices during wartime.

permalink Ω 30 March 2003, Helsinki

Local Brew

Jarkko and I went to the Helsinki Beer Festival Friday night and I finally got to try the Finnish beer known as sahti. Sahti is very tasty and reminds me of a belgian beer only not as sweet and malty/yeasty instead of fruity. The Lammin Sahti was the best one I tasted but I'd like to also sample some of the homemade sahti in the Finnish countryside. I also had an Estonian lager which was better than I expected and a very nice rye beer that has a smoother and sweeter taste than a wheat beer.

permalink Ω 29 March 2003, Helsinki

the wrong noodle bar

Helsinki has a wide variety of ethnic restaurants but a recent find is the Wrong Noodle Bar which has some quite excellent noodle dishes to choose from. Wrong take-away, Wrong catering, Wrong menu; a cute play on the English. It's a welcome change from rye bread and cold-cuts for dinner. An added bonus is that across the street is an Asian grocery where I could probably buy noodles and such to make something similar at home once the house is no longer covered in dust and grit from the renovation.

permalink Ω 29 March 2003, Helsinki

Bean propulsion

Erkki and Eila drove me up to north nowhere Helsinki to fetch a package my family sent and on the way I noticed a few billboards for Tipito Beans that I thought were cute, memorable and amusing.

permalink Ω 29 March 2003, Helsinki

Take your freedom fries and stick them where the sun don't shine

In spite of my .mac email application tagging this email as 'junk mail', which gave me a giggle, I was so touched at the American ambassador to Finland being concerned for the welfare of yankees in the hinterland. I registered with the embassy here as one should when living as an expat in a foreign country so that in times of death or other unusual circumstances your body can be shipped 'home' for burial. I feel far more free in Finland than I ever felt in the US, especially now, so I don't need or want protection from the US, thanks. If the US showed up on Finland's shores as they have on Iraq's I'd take a gun and join the Finnish snipers. At the rate the US is going, maybe that's not completely out of the question.

I resent the blatant jingoism and the outright non-secular tone. I feel like writing him back informing him that I'm self-exiled and '...you and the horse you rode in on', but I don't want to get on Ashcroft's list, have my passport yanked and be shipped to Guantanamo Bay for questioning. For the eschelon folks who may be reading this; bite me.

Message for the American Community in Finland from the Ambassador of the United States

As President Bush has said, "This is a difficult and defining moment" in our history as Americans. In his address to the nation last night, he told us: "Our nation enters this conflict reluctantly--yet, our purpose is sure... The dangers to our country and the world will be overcome. We will pass through this time of peril and carry on the work of peace. We will defend our freedom. We will bring freedom to others, and we will prevail."

American history has seen many difficult and frightening moments in the past, and we have always come through them stronger than before and with a clearer awareness of the values we hold dear. In President Bush?s words, "Now and in the future, Americans will live as free people, not in fear."

Our prayers are with our men and women in uniform, that they may perform their mission speedily and return home safely and soon to their loved ones. Our prayers are also with the innocent people of Iraq, that they may soon be free of Saddam Hussein's decades of tyranny as well as the terror that he has brought upon them.

While it is important to be vigilant during the present days, it is equally important to continue to maintain your quality of life and to be hopeful and optimistic that peace and security will soon be won. Our country and our fellow Americans have prevailed against great odds in the past, and so will we now.

In my role as the United States Ambassador to Finland, I want to assure you that the well-being and safety of all Americans in this country is our first priority and our most important responsibility. We will do our very best to keep you informed and to respond to your concerns and needs at this time. May God bless you and may God bless America.

permalink Ω 26 March 2003, Helsinki

smorgasbord

Moving to Finland hasn't stopped my book addiction although it has slowed the flow a bit since I'm more selective about what I'm willing to pay to have shipped here. Stockmann has a decent selection, if a bit slim, of books from the UK so this helps keep me from shopping amazon.com with abandon. :) I have found a bunch of new books, CDs and DVDs worthy of shipping in the past few months:

• For those who enjoyed Salt: A World History will no doubt enjoy Bittersweet: The Story of Sugar. This book led me to consider writing a history of ginger since I adore eating ginger in most forms and it would appear to be one of the few spices or condiments which hasn't had a history of it published recently.
• Simon Winchester has a new book, Krakatoa: The Day the World Exploded: August 27, 1883 which should be quite a good read. I've been fascinated by Krakatoa ever since I read The Twenty-One Balloons when I was a kid.
• The Penguin Atlas of Food: Who Eats What, Where and Why so you can plan your holidays around the local cuisine.
• From Airline Reservations to Sonic the Hedgehog: A History of the Software Industry (History of Computing) from MIT Press in their continuing fine series on the History of Computing.
• Colour: Travels through the Paintbox, a history of pigments via an engaging travelogue.
• Practical Cryptography by Niels Ferguson and Bruce Schneier which should guarantee it being a useful book for most cryptoheads.
• A Consumers' Republic: The Politics of Mass Consumption in Postwar America which looks to be a fascinating study of American consumer economics.
• Dictionary of Americanisms: A Glossary of Words and Phrases, Usually Regarded as Peculiar to the United States which is an update to a classic reference.
• The Oxford Dictionary of Word Histories
• Fantabulosa: Dictionary of Polari and Gay Slang which should prove to be a source of great fun and curiosity.
• Latin: or the Empire of a Sign covers the history of Latin over a time period not often studied in great detail even when you take 8 years of it in Catholic school :)
• Language in Danger: How Language Loss Threatens Our Future, a rather important topic in modern linguistics.
• Alternative Histories of English that tries to give a lot more depth and realism to how and why English evolved into such a diverse language.
• Pattern Recognition is Gibson's best book in at least a decade. Definitely worth a read while I'm anxiously awaiting Quicksilver
• Schott's Original Miscellany for random entertaining trivia.
• Snow, Forest, Silence: The Finnish Tradition of Semiotics (Acta Semiotica Fennica) and Teach Yourself Finnish to help my continuing quest to understand this wacky language. :)
• Lonely Planet: Finland because I am still as fresh as a tourist around Finland.
• I can't say enough good things about the Cook's Illustrated series even though I now live in the land of metric measurements I still love their recipes and insights to cooking. The Quick Recipe (The Best Recipe Series) and Best Kitchen Quick Tips: 523 Tricks, Techniques and Shortcuts for the Curious Cook should both be as excellent as the various other CI books I have.
• Different is Jori Hulkkonen's new album and anyone who likes electronica and/or bossa nova should really give this one a try. (yes, he's Finnish :)
• Like the Deserts Miss the Rain is for ETBG fans and is worth the price of the cd for the version of Corcovado which was only on the Red, Hot and Rio album 5 or so years ago.
• I still have a very soft spot for the Pet Shop Boys; Disco Vol.3 will be sure to transport me back to the early 80s when I could dance until 4am without the rapidly aging body I have now :)
• Biography. Lisa Stansfield is such a fabulous singer and yet, much like Alison Moyet, far too often overlooked. She's the new Barry White only whiter and female. I love this woman.
• The Office - The complete series 1 is absolutely brilliant. If you loved the movie "Office Space" or "Haiku Tunnel" you'll quickly be demanding recordings of the Office from relatives and friends in the UK.

permalink Ω 23 March 2003, Helsinki

keyboard condom

The iSkin keyboard condom is one of the most functional accessories I've ever found for my laptop since my dog's hair always seems to find its way to my keyboard and this doodad not only keeps the hair off but also protects the screen from the usual markings. A good investment for the iBook/Powerbook owner.

permalink Ω 22 March 2003, Helsinki

Moved already....

I've always considered myself to be a real trendsetter, ahead of my time, an Ur-Faith Popcorn and this page from The Guardian proves it :)

permalink Ω 7 March 2003, Helsinki

Uusi Balalaika Show

Fans of the Leningrad Cowboys will be thrilled to know that they are going to be performing a new Global Balalaika Show with the Red Army Choir this coming August in Helsinki as part of the Helsinki Festival. I'm pretty enthused myself since they had a concert like this 10 years ago which became somewhat legendary. I've only heard the CD from the concert but there is something surreal about a Russian Army Choir singing along with a bunch of Finnish guys with big hair to "Sweet Home Alabama".

permalink Ω 7 March 2003, Helsinki