Bi-lingual? Nay, Bow-lingual!

Just when you thought that your dog was the only person you could talk to without having to worry about deep conversations about your relationship or their telling your deepest, darkest secrets to the highest bidding tabloid there comes a new product to ruin all that, Bow-lingual: The Dog Translator. My dog, a 12 year-old Saint Bernard, has been my treasured confidant since he was a wee monster. Sure, he burps, farts, whines and I still pick up his poop after 12 years, but he doesn't talk and doesn't have an email account and I adore him for that. :)

Bow-lingual does, however, present a rather fun idea for hackers with unsuspecting friends who come over to hang out with you and the dog, but find the dog has some rather unusual comments to make. Some ideas might be:

• Have you lost weight?!
• Can you spare some of that steak? The crap they serve me is inedible!
• Give me that remote control! Lassie is on at 7!
• I saw your girlfriend with another guy last night!
• Damn! That baby is uuuuugggggllly!
• Hey! I was not the one that farted!
• Can I hump your leg?
• Can I sniff your butt?
• Scratch a little higher and to the left.
• Can I help you with those leftovers?
• Touch my bowl and die.
• Get off the computer and play with me, dammit!
• If you don't get off that laptop, I'm going to bury it out back when you're away.
• Oh, I ordered 20 pounds of prime ribeye steaks on-line today with your credit card. I hope you don't mind.
• Yes, that's my stash of internet porn.
• On the internet, noone knows you're a dog.

The possibilities are endless. I'm tempted to buy one just to play with it and amuse myself by programming it with random Finnish expressions to scare people on the street who come up and pet HB. The TV ad is brilliant :)