Lust for Hats

My eyewear fetish is something I've always thought of as a compensatory tactic for my inability to have the more traditional shoe fetish due to my titanic 10-10 1/2[US] feet which could never look dainty no matter how stylish the footwear. My secret fetish is hats. I adore hats, but aside from the more practical winter coverings for my cranium I usually look, but don't buy. I always envied the Queen Mum for her abiility to wear the ugliest of hats without the slightest sign of self-consciousness. All those awful hats with matching ensembles paired with the royal smile and wave saying, "Fuck all the little people, I love my hat! I am a sexy beast!" I would have paid good money to see her wear a fuzzy, fringed pimpdaddy hat with gold capped teeth. I wonder what family did with all those hats she left behind and didn't get buried wearing.

This Easter peep hat [Hope Hat, Uudenmankatu] caught my eye and I had to stare at it for a brief while with lust. My usual internal dialogue is, "Would I wear that hat? Yes. Would I wear that hat outside the house? Hmmm....no." It's always the same unless the hat is black and doesn't attract attention. I used to wear a black bowler, but I got way too many smartass jerks asking me if it was Clockwork Orange day. Clearly they were uncivilised cretins who hadn't ever seen Emma Peel in The Avengers. But hats like this make me wish I had what the Queen Mum had in the hat hutzpah department. Of course, with a 7 3/4 hat size, the cute Easter peep hat wouldn't likely fit me any more than a cute pair of fashionable shoes would fit my Cunard sized feet, but we always desire most that which we cannot have or look good in...don't we?

And, for anyone who has ever enjoyed the marshmallowy goodness that are marshmallow peeps, it's Peeps Week time again with Dr. Fun. :)