Of shoes and meat

« Welcome to Missouri, land of meat and shoes! »

One of the most impressive things about Finns is their grasp of geography, well, at least all the ones I know seem to know far more detail about the planet we inhabit than any other people I've ever met, which is a dramatic contrast to Americans who seem to have some difficulty placing their own country on a political map of the world. If you read Finnish, you'll get a good chuckle out of Peter Elk's [Finnish expat living in NYC] look at an old geography book and it's descriptions of US states. If you don't read Finnish, well, the summary is that some of the state descriptions are pretty hilarious.

Missouri, for example, is the "Meat and Shoe State". I mean, Missouri, land of the Ozarks and home of the 'throwed[sic] roll', evokes the image of meat and shoes? Lambert's does have really great rolls if you remember to duck and their iced tea is served in giant mason jars with free refills, too. I kept trying to imagine of a reason why anyone on the planet would think of shoes and meat when describing Missouri. And then it dawned on me....Missouri! The Sho[e]-Me[at] State! Someone in Finland heard Shoe-Meat instead of Show-Me! Of course! :) The slogan has been in use for a long, long time and has a somewhat interesting origin.

The most widely known legend attributes the phrase to Missouri's U.S. Congressman Willard Duncan Vandiver, who served in the United States House of Representatives from 1897 to 1903. While a member of the U.S. House Committee on Naval Affairs, Vandiver attended an 1899 naval banquet in Philadelphia. In a speech there, he declared, "I come from a state that raises corn and cotton and cockleburs and Democrats, and frothy eloquence neither convinces nor satisfies me. I am from Missouri. You have got to show me." Regardless of whether Vandiver coined the phrase, it is certain that his speech helped to popularize the saying.

Other versions of the "Show-Me" legend place the slogan's origin in the mining town of Leadville, Colorado. There, the phrase was first employed as a term of ridicule and reproach. A miner's strike had been in progress for some time in the mid-1890s, and a number of miners from the lead districts of southwest Missouri had been imported to take the places of the strikers. The Joplin miners were unfamiliar with Colorado mining methods and required frequent instructions. Pit bosses began saying, "That man is from Missouri. You'll have to show him."

However the slogan originated, it has since passed into a different meaning entirely, and is now used to indicate the stalwart, conservative, noncredulous character of Missourians.

Well, in all honesty, Missouri did have the Brown Shoe Company in St. Louis and the enormous stockyards in Kansas City [in Missouri in spite of the name] back before it became better known for Budweiser Beer and John Ashcroft. I think the new state slogan should read, "Missouri! We're real sorry about Ashcroft!" Or, maybe, "Missouri! Getting dumb sports fans drunk since 1906!" Missouri does have a few redeeming qualities like Mark Twain, Chuck Berry and Vincent Price. It's home, but as Mark Twain so wisely quipped, "Familiarity breeds contempt..." I will henceforth refer to it as the "Shoe-Meat State". :)

Because it's July [read everything is closed for summer holiday and I'm bored] and I'm, of course, far more entertained by state slogans than anyone probably should be, I'll offer a more honest selection of state slogans for the easily amused. They're notoriously bad and ridiculed all over the US [65k pdf] for being the product of horrible PR wonks.

• Alabama: Wonder Full ∴ Wonderful? Alabama? "Yes, we have indoor plumbing."
• Alaska: Beyond Your Dreams, Within Your Reach ∴ "Screwing the environment for your SUV"
• Arizona: The Grand Canyon State ∴ "Land of Cheap Smokes and Indian Reservations" Monument Valley is really a lot more stunning than the Grand Canyon.
• Arkansas: The Natural State ∴ Natural? Natural what? "If you can read this, you don't live here."
• California: Find Yourself Here ∴ ...because everyone here is as lost as you are. "California, the fruit and nut state!" or "Our women have more plastic than your car!".
• Colorado: (none) ∴ Colorado, home of the Coalition for the American Family and anti-gay everything. "If you don't ski, don't bother."
• Connecticut: Full of Surprises ∴ Boy, howdy, who wrote that nonsense? "Connecticut, Stepford wives and suburban stupor!" or "Massachussets is thattaway!"
• Delaware: It's Good Being First ∴ The state best known for it's very 'generous' tax structure, S-Corporations and cheap booze/outlet malls that people from adjoining states flock to. I guess they couldn't just say, "Hey! We're small, cheap and available!".
• Florida: (none) ∴ "Ask us about our grandchildren!" or "Watch out for that sinkhole!"
• Georgia: Georgia on My Mind ∴ We banned rum and slaves but not lawyers!
• Hawaii: Aloha ∴ BORING. "Islands of flaming hot magma!"
• Idaho: Potatoes. Tasty Destinations. ∴ Why not just get sponsored by Ore-Ida Corp and go with "When it says Ore-Ida, it's alll-righta."? or, even better, "Land of Tater Tots!".
• Illinois: Right Here. Right Now. ∴ Yeah, it's there alright. What happened to "Land of Lincoln"? "Illinois! Please remember the S is silent!"
• Iowa: Come Be Our Guest ∴ "Iowa! Be our guest as you surely won't stay!"
• Indiana: Enjoy Indiana ∴ It used to be "Wander Indiana" which had TV spots with an empty car toodling around the state which gave you the [realistic] impression that the state put you to sleep. "Indiana! Enjoy our dullness!"
• Kansas: Simply Wonderful ∴ "Kansas! Drive faster, daddy! Faster!" The only thing more boring than driving across Kansas is driving across Wyoming.
• Kentucky: It's That Friendly ∴ "Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names"
• Louisiana: Come as You Are. Leave Different. ∴ "It's not new and it doesn't lean!"
• Maine: It Must Be Maine ∴ "Every visitor gets a free L.L. Bean Boat Tote!"
• Maryland: (none) ∴ "Crab cakes and crabs."
• Massachusetts: Make It Yours ∴ "Taxachusetts! Our Taxes Are Lower Than Finland's (For Most Tax Brackets)"
• Michigan: Great Lakes. Great Times. ∴ "First Line Of Defense From The Canadians" or "All your crap cars are belong to us!"
• Minnesota: Explore Minnesota ∴ "And don't forget the bug spray!" or "10,000 Lakes and 10,000,000,000,000 mosquitoes"
• Mississippi: Feels Like Coming Home ∴ "Come Visit And Feel Better About Where You Live"
• Missouri: Where the Rivers Run ∴ "Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work" or "We're sorry about Ashcroft!"
• Montana: Travel Montana ∴ "Home of the Unabomber and christian militias"
• Nebraska: Possibilities...Endless ∴ "Ask About Our State Motto Contest..."
• Nevada: Wide Open ∴ Gotta wonder what the guy who made that one up was looking at. "Home of the mushroom cloud!"
• New Hampshire: Make Up for Lost Time ∴ "Go Away"
• New Jersey: The Perfect Getaway ∴ What a perfect motto for a state filled with gangsters! "Hey, Guy! Whatchoolookinat?"
• New Mexico: Land of Enchantment ∴ "Atomic bombs and Aliens! Coincidence? We think not!"
• New York: I ♥ NY (I Love New York) ∴ "Give us your wallet!"
• North Carolina: A Better Place to Be ∴ "Come smokem peace pipe!"
• North Dakota: Legendary ∴ "We still have at least 50 residents!"
• Ohio: So Much to Discover ∴ "Ohio! The state next to Indiana!"
• Oklahoma: Native America ∴ "Just like the musical only without the singing!"
• Oregon: We Love Dreamers ∴ "We hate Californians!"
• Pennsylvania: The State of Independence ∴ "Cook With Coal!"
• Rhode Island: (various) ∴ "We aren't really an island!"
• South Carolina: Smiling Faces. Beautiful Places. ∴ "We didn't surrender to those Damn Yankees!"
• South Dakota: Great Faces. Great Places. ∴ "250 miles to the nearest rest stop!"
• Tennessee: (none) ∴ "The edumacation state!"
• Texas: It's Like a Whole Other Country ∴ It sure is y'all. We all wish it were another country, too. "Si! Hablo Ingles!"
• Utah: (none) ∴ "We're on a mission from god" or "Dry in every way imaginable"
• Vermont: (none) ∴ "Come peep and leave"
• Virginia: Virginia is for Lovers ∴ "We have ponies"
• Washington: (none) ∴ "Home of Apples and Microsoft"
• West Virginia: Wild and Wonderful ∴ "Kissin' Cousins!"
• Wisconsin: Stay Just a Little Bit Longer ∴ "Come cut some cheese!"
• Wyoming: (none) ∴ "Why are you here?"