Turd Ferguson

« One of several art installations around Helsinki for the Helsinki Arts Festival entitled, "The Wailing Wall". The walls were filled with empty film canisters that people were invited to fill with notes written on day-glow coloured papers. It reminded me of the old lite-brites where you'd make a design with coloured pegs although the new models for kids these days seem too molded and modern when compared to the original low-tech box with a bulb inside of it. »

At the height of my inbox madness a few years ago, I think I subscribed to about 45 different mailing lists, some of which had a very high daily volume of spew. When I left the US, I unsubscribed to almost all of them since I was afraid I might be offline for a while and I didn't want the disks to fill. I never re-subscribed and, the few that I did keep I punted last week after moving all my crap off of the old box where I used to read my mail. I can go a few days without looking at my inbox and really not worry as a huge percentage of the mail is spam and the rest is mostly from friends and nice people who take the time to write to me. I surf list archives if and when I bother to care which, I find, isn't very often anymore. People talk about rss feeds for mailing lists in glowing terms but I think they're forgetting that rss doesn't list only the posts with something worth reading in them. I'd be willing to pay for summarizers to wade through the dreck and send me the few worthwhile nuggets of info. Screw rss, I want intelligent agents that won't waste my time.

One of the three lists I remain subscribed to and lurk on is the American Dialect Society mailing list digest which has a very high signal:noise ratio and often has something of interest or amusement. One of the most entertaining posters is Barry Popik whose atom feed of word etymologies and ephemera is excellent. He's an administrative law judge of parking violations in NYC by day and the modern mad professor for the OED the rest of the time, particularly for food words. He's also an editor for the upcoming drool-worthy Encyclopedia of Food and Drink in America from OUP. Today's digest had a particularly fun list of college slang from Barry who I presume was looking for "Turd Ferguson" and found an article about a book on college slang. I had to giggle since I know the phrase and I know it's not a food. :) I'm not sure which is more disturbing; that I've actually used Turd Ferguson in a sentence or finding it in a book title. I think it's mostly a mid-westernism, but slang gets around and it's hard to say for sure. Turd Ferguson & the Sausage Party: An Uncensored Guide to College Slang looks like a pretty hilarious book and a way to make my English a little more fresh and hip. I mean, I've not heard or said Turd Ferguson in years! Pure nostalgia. There is a short list of some of the words from the book.

• Bar Scar: All the wristbands and ink left over after making the rounds at the bars.
• Cash Cow: An ATM.
• Greek Freak: A new pledge who is super-absorbed in sorority/fraternity goings-on.
• Hallcest: The dangerous act of getting with someone on your hall.
• Hitting the Snooze Bar: To continue to hook up with someone even though you should really break up. Prolonging the inevitable.
• Kelvin Club: The rare feat of having a GPA that equals absolute zero.
• Liquid Encouragement: Refers to how alcohol can help you be able to talk or attempt to talk to anyone.
• Osmosis: A method of study employed by crammers who fall asleep with their heads on their books. Not very reliable.
• Party Foul: An incident that goes against the rules of the party. For example, spilling your glass of red wine on the Dean's white carpet during an elegant mixer or mistaking the coat closet for a bathroom.
• Pizza Bones: The uneaten crust of a pizza. Often scavenged by cheap friends like Barry down the hall.
• Sausage Party: A gathering of many more men than women.
• Sexiled: When someone is forced to sleep outside his/her room when his/her roomate wants to have sex in the room.
• Tomb of the Dead Soldiers: A trashcan filled with many, many beer cans.
• Turd Ferguson: A social sore who decides things like exposing oneself in public or driving drunk are good ideas.
• Vitamin N: Short for vitamin nicotine. Refers to having a cigarette first thing in the morning.
• Vurp: When you burp but some vomit comes up, too. A very nasty experience.