Does my ass look fat in this?

Are my boobs ok?

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Ever since I moved here, I have come to be very fascinated by the Finnish curiosity for what foreigners think of their country. A number of people, including my own father-in-law, have commented that they find my boring corner of the internet interesting because of my outsider view of life here. I suppose I find it strange because as an American I already either know what people think of the US given how many rants I have had delivered to me from those wearing Nike shoes, Levi's and a Mets baseball cap or because the US is so big that it is something different for everyone, even those who live there, which I don't take personally. And, mostly, I just don't care.

Finland seems both vain and insecure as though it were a woman asking a boyfriend, "Hey, does this make my ass look fat?", as if the answer were going to dispel her doubts about her own self-image. Or, more to the point, why do Finns care about what foreigners think of Finland when, like America and most other places, it is always a bit different for everyone? What has made me wonder about this recently is the popularity among Finns of an American Libertarian's blog, Finland for Thought.** In the US, Phil would be just another guy cutting and pasting news into his blog, as if there aren't enough of those already, but here he's considered a political pundit because, I am told, there's so little public political discourse. Of course, of the several people I asked about this, none of them discuss political issues on their blogs but find a foreigner who writes only in English with a no-big-government, no-taxes slant to be a good change of pace. Hey, who said irony was dead? What about all the parlimentarians with a blog? You know, the folks who actually represent the people in the government? I suppose politicians are supposed to be too diplomatic to offer opinions in the wrong language about issues they've not had more than 3 years of experience with just to be controversial. Well, unless they're the President of the US.

Perhaps the reason political opinions in Finland are not often spewed randomly on the net, where they will be cached by the search engines for as long as there is power to run the machines to ensure that they resurface to haunt you at some later date, is that people who can't chat up their neighbour about the weather, or even grunt and nod to them, generally aren't going to blurt out critical statements that will either find a friend or an enemy. You know, if you can't get to "Hello" you just aren't going to make it to "Fuck off" without a bottle of koskenkorva to help you get there and, really, discussing politics while bombed is a cherished American tradition that nobody wants to imitate. A very high percentage of the Finns I know say they email their political representatives and, amazingly, receive replies on issues that they have concerns about. This seems far more efficient and, frankly, more Finnish. If only Americans would even bother to vote much less email their representatives. Then again, every time I've written a politician back home, I've never received a reply. Bitching on the net and over too many beers at the pub is as good as it gets for us Yankees.

I'm guessing then that F4T is more a magic combination of from-the-hip pot stirring and curiosity/insecurity feeding which may make for a fabulously popular TV series on Nelonen. Hey, Phil, you can star in your own show finally! I'm envisioning a Finnish Hardball but with foreigners who read only what scarce local news is available in English and then argue animatedly about some random issue. :)

**Disclaimer: I know Phil and while I'd buy him a beer, I probably won't vote for him when he runs for public office. This isn't a personal attack, but a sincere curiosity. If you're Finnish, however, and feel a slight burning sensation, that's just the sarcasm missing your funny bone.

**permalink Ω 30 March 2005, Helsinki

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