Oat Power

« The Koff beer wagon. [picture from the brochure] »

I see these horses fairly frequently as the dog park is right next to the stables in Sinebrychoff Park and Otava gazes at them wondering if they're big dogs to play with or not. One of my first impressions of Finland on the first time I visited was seeing the equine beer delivery system and thinking it was quaint and civilised, especially since I grew up with the Budweiser Clydesdales who are only for trotting out at sports and civic events anymore. I've seen them regularly since moving to Helsinki and it never ceases to catch my attention and think that modern deliveries have far less style or cachet.

A few weeks ago I ran across a glossy booklet and postcards on the Koff wagon and thought it was nicely done with a bit a goofy humour and more detail than I ever would have tracked down on my own. Did you know that the 13th of October is "Finnish Beer Day"? I thought not. Be sure to mark your calendar to find out just how this beer day is distinctive from any other.

Where did they find a brewery for the horses?

On 13 October 1819, the Imperial Reconstruction Committee, which was appointed to create a new capital city for the Grand Duchy of Finland, deemed it expedient and beneficial to grant merchant Nikolai Sinebrychoff an undeveloped block of land in the Hietalahti district of Helsinki on which to build "a great beer factory" to meet the needs of the city. Almost the very first job was carried out by two horses, who pulled logs on a sledge over the frozen sea to Hietalahti from a house that had been taken apart on Suomenlinna, just off the coast of Helsinki. The logs were used to rebuild the house, which, to this day, still stands in the corner of Sinebrychoff park next to the Bavaria ice cellar and the stables, adjacent to the Sinebrychoff Art Museum.

From modest beginnings of just a few horses, the new brewery and distillery operating in conjunction with it grew, expanded and became so prosperous that in 1848 the brewery's moveables included 9 horses and one horse-driven two-stone malting mill. Their was neigh holding back in 1890, when new stables were built for 60 draught horses. Horsepower peaked in the early 1900s and thereafter gradually declined with economic recession, World War I, the Prohibition Act (1919-32) and internal crises in the early years of Finnish independence (1917). In addition to many other good things, engineers on the continent had also invented the combustion engine and horseless carriages. Consequently the large stables were converted into garages in the 1930s. During the Winter War (1939-40) and Continuation War (1941-44), the brewery's draught horses distinguished themselves in pulling artillery and provision carriages alike. The horses remained in action in the brewery until the late 1940s, but had to retire for a while until they returned permanently to delivery work in the streets of Helsinki in the early 1960s.

The beautiful brick stables still stand and add character to the park in spite of the encroachment of aseptic glass apartment houses on all sides. Koff beer isn't all that bad, either, which begs the question why or how Lapin Kulta got the "Official Beer" vendorship for the IAAF games instead of a decent beer with the cachet of a horse-drawn carriage and whose inception date is "Finnish Beer Day". The word "Kulta" is a near guarantee that whatever product bears a name with kulta will be far from golden; coffee, beer, etc. In fact, I think that Budweiser beer was called "Guld Brau" before changing to the current name...but I digress. There are four horses; Kalle, Roki, Pintti, and Sigge.

Equine Technical Information

• Type: Heavy, cold-blooded horse from Jutland.
• Temperament: calm and docile, good memory, dependable
• Length: approximately 300 cm from nose to tail
• Stands: 15.5-16.3 hands
• Weight: 800-1500kg
• Power: 5-10hp, four-hoofed drive
• Acceleration: adequate
• Average speed: about 20-30 km per day
• Fuel: 15kg hay, 10kg oats, some buns and 50-60 liters water per day
• Shoes: size 9, two pairs per month
• Transport capacity: 500-1,000 liters beer per day

The booklet also claims that the horses have mastered Finnish. Shit, not only do I get smoked daily by 5 year olds speaking turbo Finnish, now I'm getting my ass kicked by hoofed beasts who enjoy classical music, drink beer and come from Denmark. When MTV3 starts airing a show called Herra Eetu with a talking Finnish horse, it'll be time to take a more realistic assessment of my chances of learning Finnish when the equines are good enough to have their own show and I'm still trying to order pulla and a coffee without the dreaded "--TÄ?!" I should try practising my Finnish on the horses and order a beer. :)