Petrosexual

« This isn't Stockmann's Halloween window, but it could have been. :) The theme was California children having a party...or something. The boys were dressed as pirates, too. I'm not sure if people who have never been to the states and/or lived there get all their impressions from the imported TV shows believe that we all live, dress, eat and behave like the folks in TV-land, but I've been away so long that I'm starting to wonder which version of America is right or if they all are. »

I finally bought tickets home for the holidays after much procrastination and masterful subliminal avoidance tactics. Now begin the nightmares filled of fun scenarios like having the plane turn back because I'm on the no-fly list or being sent to Gitmo upon arrival. Perhaps a bit irrational, but it has been three years since I've been home and I am both eager and reluctant to go as it may be awkward, much like seeing a friend you've lost touch with after a few years. When you're an expat, you're a bit estranged from both sides of the equation since you were not born in the country you live nor are you living in the country in which you were born. You don't have a choice but to keep trying to assimilate in the country you live, but time passes and you loose touch with the daily news and ephemera from home which accrete and distinguish you from the tourist, cryogenically frozen man of mystery or overly astute kids on the internet who could probably list more trivia about America than most natives, but wouldn't know that 12th street in St. Louis has a different name, Tucker, used only by the locals. Landscape and language are both integral to identity and when you are separated from them physically, and possibly mentally as well, your identity in that landscape and language changes, though it doesn't disappear. It's sort of like Austin Powers being thawed out in the 90s after being put in cold storage in the 60s and the hilarity that ensues afterwards from his out of context adventures. I really need to dig up my copy of Bill Bryson's, I'm a Stranger Here Myself: Notes on Returning to America After 20 Years Away, and re-read it soon.

A few random odds 'n ends....

The GAO has released their report on the 2004 election and though the mainstream press hasn't picked it up, Powerful Government Accountability Office report confirms key 2004 stolen election findings, makes for predictable and depressing reading.

Kallio Vice - If Miami were a lot colder and had more problems with booze than with pastel fashions and handguns. In this vein, on a slow news day a reporter from the BBC has a night out in Helsinki tagging along with the cops and looking for drunks. He writes that it took until 10pm to spot their first drunk which makes me wonder if it was a slow night or if the cops were avoiding them as they're generally around downtown anytime of the day or night. Helsinki gets another superlative for its collection: Largest 'drunk tank' in Europe.

And some books of the strange, odd and interesting variety.

• The Planets by Dava Sobel ≈ Essays on each of the planets by the same author who wrote Longitude.
• Giving Thanks: Thanksgiving Recipes and History, from Pilgrims to Pumpkin Pie ≈ Looks like a good book, especially with the recipe for creamed onions.
• The World in a Phrase: A History of Aphorisms ≈ Aphorisms are one of the finest forms of the English language.
• The Elements of Style Illustrated ≈ Apparently a remedial edition for the people who don't function without pictures. Looking at the illustrator's self-description on Amazon is both funny and sad given the book. On the upside it's hardbound.
• Slam Dunks and No-Brainers: Language in Your Life, the Media, Business, Politics, and, Like, Whatever ≈ Language has a posse and they are coming for pop language.
• The Great Stink ≈ The Victorian sewers of London.
• The Home Spa Book for Dogs: Nose to Tail Treatments to Soothe the Soul and Age-Proof Your Canine Companion ≈ Who knew my home could double as a canine-care retreat?
• Cooking the Three Dog Bakery Way ≈ For your dog's after-spa and yoga liver pâte.
• Bones: Recipes, History, and Lore ≈ For the dog who loves bones. :)
• The Complete Petrosexual ≈ A brilliant 'how in the fuck did that get published and did they just say furry fashionista and faux paws?' moment. Hurr.
• Planet Dog: A Doglopedia ≈ Looks possibly interesting and useful, but it better have an entry for "Owned: You."