Oracle of Gravity

« The triple energy bolt logo of Helsingin Energia on one of their older buildings in Töölö. »

Finland's presidential elections were held yesterday and, because there was no clear winner with 50% of the vote or better, there will be a second round of voting for the top two contenders in two weeks. Of late it seems that major democracies around the world have been having more frequent troubles in selecting clear winners in elections, e.g. Germany, the US, etc. Does it mean that we are becoming more divided in our political views or, perhaps more likely, that our choices of leaders in just sucking more and more often?

The AP has a stringer up here who likely gets this kind of top fold excitement once only every six years or so, unless someone blows up a mall or gets a $500k speeding ticket. The wire story this morning had this to say about the important and solemn task of selecting a new leader in a sovereign country:

She bears a resemblance to the redheaded late-night talk show host Conan O'Brien, who has been promoting her re-election bid on his show as part of a running joke about their supposed physical similarities.

In one show, O'Brien presented a mock ad for Halonen in which he and two Finns discussed the election while ice fishing.

When they talk about Prime Minister Matti Vanhanen, a rival candidate who finished third Sunday with just under 19 percent, a dead fish shoots out of the hole in the ice, prompting a joke about how the mention of his name makes fish commit suicide.

"Fish recognize a bad leader," O'Brien says in broken Finnish, to laughter from his studio crowd.

I was, like, bitch, what? Fish can recognise a tired, tired, absolutely overdone joke, too, but obviously the media cannot. For those who neither know nor care who Conan O'Brien is or have no idea why anyone interested in the outcome of the Finnish elections might be, there's a joke that O'Brien looks like Tarja in the same vein that Austin Powers assaults Basil's androgynous mother exclaiming, "She's a MAN baby, yeah!" It was cute at first, but it has gone too far when it enters the election news reports. What will Conan do when he's here in Finland in early February if Tarja loses? (He is apparently coming only for filming, not a studio show. Maybe the Quebequois fiasco put him off of hosting shows elsewhere.) Gads, is Finland so desperate for media attention that it will go to any lengths, including making a big joke out of a late night talk show host from the US and their president to do it?

Jarkko got a bathroom scale over the weekend. One of those snazzy digital jobs that not only tell your weight, but your water and fat percentage, too. I've not weighed myself in at least 10 years, but there's something so alluring about a scale as though a voice in the back of your head is shouting, "Oh! Great Oracle of Gravity, tell us our number!" If only it would print out my fortune and award me with a cupie doll when it is wrong it would be perfect. I don't suppose the special carny edition of bathroom scale would be terribly popular though. I did, of course, succumb to my curiosity and was surprised that I weigh less than I feel like I do, but more than is comfortable in my jeans. When 'relaxed fit' jeans are more like 'snug fit', it's time to face reality that, well, your size has incremented by one or two. I guess it's a bit better than the 'suck it in and don't breathe fit' or 'painted on fit'. :) So, maybe I'll start bringing my lunch to work more often and taking the stairs instead of the lift to try and decrease my gravitational mass. In the interim, I think I'll avoid the bathroom oracle of gravity.

And in the tradition of Greek oracles of gravity, et al, there is a new series of books from Canongate Publishers that is really quite good. I've just finished The Penelopiad by Margaret Atwood, that is a tale of Penelope, Odysseus' wife, during the years of the Odyssey which was quite an entertaining read. The next one I intend to read is The Helmet of Horror which is a retelling of Theseus and the Minotaur. The Canongate Myths Series is apparently a collaboration between 32 publishing houses and promises 100 titles by 100 acclaimed authors over the next few years. Authors from around the world are being invited to reinvent a myth of their choosing in 25,000-35,000 words. It is one of the most imaginative and original ideas in the publishing world I've seen in a long while. I wonder if any Finnish contemporary writers would deign to write an English retelling of the Kalevala from, say, Louhi's point of view? :)