Turtles

« Delicious and chewy chocolate caramel turtle brownies. »

While trying to come up with something to make for Easter to supplement my annual pitiful attempt at making pasha/pashka, I found a recipe for some dark chocolate turtle brownies that immediately trumped all the other possibilities if only because I used to eat turtles by the box and haven't had any since I left the US. I don't remember if turtle candies were very popular in New England, but in the Midwest, they are a classic staple. Chocolate coated caramel with nuts is tough to argue with in terms of taste and texture.

When I went hunting for the origin of turtles it was somewhat surprising that the only useful clue was from the linguist list archives where Barry Popik, the resident food word hunter for the OED in NYC, had found the first citation for turtles. Finally, I found that DeMet's, the original maker of turtles in Chicago, had been sold to Nestlé in 1988.

DeMet's Turtles was introduced in the early 1920s by Rowntree DeMet's Inc. An employee at the chocolate factory remarked that the new candy, with pecans protruding from its side, looked like a turtle. The name stuck. Nestlé acquired Rowntree DeMet's Inc. in 1988. In January 1996 the name changed to NESTLÉ® TURTLES.

The current turtles don't look like the ones I remember devouring limb by limb as a kid since you can't see the four pecan halves poking out from beneath the mound of chocolate coated caramel which looked like legs and lent the confection the appearance of a turtle. I suppose you'll just have to use your imagination.

Turtle brownies sounded too good to pass up and, after eating half of a batch of them I can vouch for their crack-like addictiveness for the chewy, nutty and dark chocolate brownie lover. The caramel is just heavenly on top, too. The brownie batter is quick and easy, but the caramel should be approached with care and preparation since it isn't difficult to make, but it can be a bit scary for the first-time cook. Use a deep sauce pan if you have one and when the caramelized sugar is ready for the addition of the cream, pour in a small amount at a time while vigorously whisking as it bubbles and spatters from the extreme heat. It will be smooth and spatter-free by the last addition of cream. Those not adventurous enough to make their own can likely use a bag of Brach's caramels (in the US), melted and poured on top although it won't taste quite the same as a batch of fresh caramel.

Ultimate Turtle Brownies 

Makes: 25 (1 1/2-inch-square or 3.8 cm-square) Brownies
Time: Prep time - about 30 minutes + 30 min bake time and 3 hours cooling time
Source: CI, May 2006

Caramel

• 1/4 cup or 0,60 dl heavy cream plus 2 additional tablespoons
• 1/4 teaspoon table salt 
• 1/4 cup or 0,60 dl water 
• 2 tablespoons light corn syrup 
• 1 1/4 cups or 250g sugar
• 2 tablespoons or 28g unsalted butter 
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 

Brownies

• 1 stick or 113g unsalted butter, cut into small pieces
• 4 ounces or 113g bittersweet chocolate, chopped
• 2 ounces ore 56g unsweetened chocolate, chopped
• 3/4 cup or 106g unbleached all-purpose flour
• 1/2 teaspoon baking powder 
• 2 large eggs, room temperature
• 1 cup or 198g sugar
• 1/4 teaspoon table salt 
• 2 teaspoons vanilla extract 
• 2/3 cup or ~78g chopped pecans
• 1/3 cup or 0,75dl semisweet chocolate chips (optional)

Garnish

• 25 pecan halves, toasted

 

1. For the caramel: Combine cream and salt in small bowl; stir well to dissolve salt. Combine water and corn syrup in heavy-bottomed 2- to 3-quart saucepan; pour sugar into center of saucepan, taking care not to let sugar granules touch sides of pan. Gently stir with clean spatula to moisten sugar thoroughly. Cover and bring to boil over medium-high heat; cook, covered and without stirring, until sugar is completely dissolved and liquid is clear, 3 to 5 minutes. Uncover and continue to cook, without stirring, until bubbles show faint golden color, 3 to 5 minutes more. Reduce heat to medium-low. Continue to cook (swirling occasionally) until caramel is light amber and registers about 360F/182C degrees on candy or instant-read thermometer, 1 to 3 minutes longer. Remove saucepan from heat and carefully add cream in small doses to center of pan; stir with whisk or spatula (mixture will bubble and steam vigorously) until cream is fully incorporated and bubbling subsides. Stir in butter and vanilla until combined; transfer caramel to glass bowl or measuring cup and allow to cool.
2. For the brownies: Adjust oven rack to lower-middle position; heat oven to 325F/162C degrees. Butter a 9-in/23cm square pan and line bottom and sides with baking paper or greased foil, leaving excess to overhang pan sides to allow for easy removal for slicing brownies later.
3. Melt butter and bittersweet and unsweetened chocolates in medium heatproof bowl set over saucepan of barely simmering water, stirring occasionally, until smooth and combined; set aside to cool slightly. Meanwhile, whisk together flour and baking powder in small bowl; set aside. When chocolate has cooled slightly, whisk eggs in large bowl to combine; add sugar, salt, and vanilla and whisk until incorporated. Add melted chocolate mixture to egg mixture; whisk until homogenous. Add flour mixture; stir with rubber spatula until almost combined. Add chopped pecans and chocolate chips (if using); mix until incorporated and no flour streaks remain.
4. Distribute half of brownie batter in prepared baking pan, spreading in even layer. Drizzle scant 1/4 cup or 0,60dl caramel over batter. Drop remaining batter in large mounds over caramel layer; spread evenly and into corners of pan with rubber spatula. Drizzle additional scant 1/4 cup or 0,60dl caramel over top. Using tip of butter knife, swirl caramel and batter. Bake brownies until toothpick inserted into center comes out with only a few moist crumbs attached, 35 to 40 minutes. Cool brownies in pan on wire rack to room temperature, about 1 1/2 hours.
5. Heat remaining caramel (about 3/4 cup or 1,75dl) in microwave until warm and pourable but still thick (do not boil), 45 to 60 seconds, stirring once or twice; pour caramel over brownies. Using spatula, spread caramel to cover surface. Refrigerate brownies, uncovered, at least 2 hours.
6. Using baking paper or foil extensions, lift brownies from baking pan, loosening sides with paring knife, if needed. Using chef's knife, cut brownies into 25 evenly sized squares. Press a pecan half onto surface of each brownie. Serve chilled or at room temperature.

permalink Ω 21 April 2006, Helsinki

Fungus

« A birch tree afflicted by a parasitic fungus that causes massive branching which looks like bird's nests. »

I would always think that the dense bunches of branches in the birch trees were simply bird's nests whenever I would see a tree dotted with dark balls of branches and it was only recently that I found out that it is actually a fungus, Taphrina Betulina, that stimulates growth of the branches to form these "witches' brooms" or tuulenpesä (wind's nest).

Overall, Easter was a lazy four-day weekend where watching lots of disaster porn on the National Geographic channel made me wonder if they have been franchised by FOX. Where did all the interesting cultural documentaries go to? Canal+ must have had some sadist setting up the weekend schedule with the most boring movies of all time that they've already shown fifty times in the past month. There isn't a whole lot to do around these parts when you don't leave town and everything is closed for four days. I think the US would cease to function in two days without anything open for business except the 7-11 and QT.

At least Amazon was open for shopping with a few interesting new titles.

• The Twinkies Cookbook: An Inventive and Unexpected Recipe Collection from Hostess - Cooking with....twinkies. It's such an unlikely book that I have to get a copy just for the fun of looking at the recipes and pictures. Why not a book on science projects you can do with twinkies, such as freezing them in liquid nitrogen and launching them at other kids using a slingshot? (they smart pretty badly) We never did figure out what the filling was made out of even after putting it through a mass spec. Some speculate that the formula was brought to earth by aliens. :)
• The Devil's Doctor: Paracelsus and the World of Renaissance Magic and Science - The 16th century was a tumultuous time for free thinkers and scholars. A history of Paracelsus has the potential to be a really interesting read.
• Sweet and Low: A Family Story - A dark memoir about the family empire behind the pink packet of saccharine that may teach other such families to never disinherit the ones who know how to write well. :)

permalink Ω 18 April 2006, Helsinki

Microserfs 2.0

« The noble beast, Otava, watches a ferry push through the sea ice. »

These days, I think the dead lead more thrilling lives than I do as, other than sleeping, eating and going to work, I've just not had the energy to do much of anything in the past few weeks. The highlight of my day is walking Otava and going to the puppy park where it can get pretty 'exciting' now that it's spring. I think much of the hormonal fervor is due to a very large percentage of both male and female pet dogs are not neutered/spayed in Finland as they are in the US. I'm not sure if it is an issue of cost or an issue of people wishing to breed their pets, but I don't remember HB going this berzerk with the twice-yearly rush of hormones. I mean, what do you do when your enormous dog jumps the fence to rumble with a male dog of similar size whom he used to play with rather well and then cowers at a dachshund who is snarling and biting at him? It's spring, even though it's snowing to beat the band.

What's the deal with Helsinki real estate prices lately? One 80-ish sq. meter attic apartment is asking 650,000 euro. It's not in a jugend building or anything fancy like that and the tiny circa 1930s lift doesn't even go up to the floor the apartment is on. I just cannot fathom who is buying these fantastically overvalued apartments on salaries that are, on average, well below 50,000 euro per year (before taxes). It makes me wonder if and when a real estate 'correction' will come as either the prices will fall thereby decreasing equity overnight or the interest rates will rise (you can't get a 15-30 year fixed rate in Finland) and there will be a lot of sales and foreclosures for those who purchased at the limit of their available cash. Even for those who could afford to buy these overpriced places with cash, why do it?

One bit of deeply depressing reading over the weekend was a Seymour Hersh column, The Iran Plan, in The New Yorker. I suppose I had given myself some comfort thinking that the US was either smart enough not to or fiscally unable to consider invading Iran but this piece makes me want to buy a bunker somewhere far, far away from the Middle East and Israel. Too many wackos pushing for the apocalypse with fingers on the button. What ever happened to the checks and balances that would prevent this sort of insanity?

On the bright side, Douglas Coupland will be releasing a new book, JPod (Microserfs 2.0) in Mid-May. Supposedly Microserfs meets the Google generation. I loved Microserfs so this should be an equally entertaining read. The book's website also mentions a 'special edition' of the book that is boxed, signed and packaged with a special editon of cube figures, presumeably of the characters from the book. I wonder why the book hasn't gotten more publicity as I only found it while browsing the humour section of Amazon.co.uk and it was on the 6th or 7th page of the upcoming titles.

permalink Ω 10 April 2006, Helsinki

Fro Yo

« Mämmi frozen yogurt. (Those unfamiliar with mämmi might read "Warm Cowpies".) »

Mämmi is that pre-digested-looking substance that rarely finds friends outside of the native Finnish population. It's a pity, really, as once you get past the way it looks it's delicious. It's like the browner, less chocolatey, more viscous cousin of Whoppers. I've often thought that mämmi is a perfect substance to use as an ingredient in other things given its unappetizing looks and distinctive flavour. It usually is only available around Easter, but with some creativity, it could be enjoyed all year long.

Last year, Jarkko, Arabella and I left work early to visit the Häme fair in order to try mämmi ice cream. I couldn't wait to try it and I was totally crushed when it was all gone by the time we arrived. I vowed that I'd make my own if I had to since I thought it was a brilliant idea to take the mämmi and the cream it is traditionally served with and make it into a frozen dessert.

Two months ago I went in search of an ice cream machine and, after sizing up the very few models available in the shops downtown, went with the smallest and cheapest model; the Braun. I can't say that I'm impressed with the performance, but it works and produces a manageable amount of ice cream in a short amount of time. It's a pain in the ass to stick the tub in the freezer for 24-hours before I want to make ice cream and the stirring paddle is suspiciously flimsy but, given the choice between a 350eur Italian model vs. a 40eur Braun, I can't really complain that I didn't get what I paid for. I have fond memories of the old hand crank variety that used ice and rock salt, but I don't honestly remember if it made better ice cream or not. Now that I have spoken critically of the Braun, it will promptly break the next time I try to use it. :)

I first tried a recipe for mämmijäätelö I found on MTV3 (that is now lamentably gone) that was a cooked custard base of milk, cream, sugar and 8 egg yolks. There are a lot of recipes that simply use vanilla ice cream with mämmi mixed in, but really good store-bought vanilla ice cream is hard to find and it's much more fun to make your own. It tasted terrific but it was a bit too heavy. What about frozen yogurt? Yogurt is very popular but I've been somewhat surprised at the limited popularity of frozen yogurt, especially given that it is often much lower in fat than ice cream. I went looking for a frozen yogurt recipe, but nothing really fit with what I wanted so I sort of made one from various ideas I liked in several recipes. What results is something that tastes a bit like a light version of a malted milk shake for those who are old enough to remember what a malt is. After making this stuff I wonder why Valio yogurt hasn't introduced a mämmi-flavoured yogurt before or maybe the Valio Bar in Kämppi could consider offering a mämmi milk shake during Easter and beyond.

The Kymppi Company who is a major producer of this brown malty goodness offer a bunch of mämmi recipes on their website (or a free booklet if you write to kymppi@kymppi.laihianmallas.fi and request a copy). Some of them, like the mämmi shot, are...not so inviting, but the letut and muffins look good. Kymppi also hosts the mämmi eating contest in Toijala, but they only hold it every other year so perhaps in the off years of the eating contest they could host a mämmi bake-off to inspire people to cook/bake with mämmi throughout the year.

Behold the power of mämmi! :) Hmm...I wonder if it tastes good with cheese.

Mämmi Frozen Yogurt

Makes: about 1 litre/4 cups
Time: about an hour, including the ice cream maker

• 170g or 6oz granulated sugar
• 80ml or 1/3 cup light syrup
• juice from one large orange
• 2 eggs, separated
• 1 litre or 4 1/4 cups unflavoured yogurt (whole or low-fat), drained
• zest from one large orange
• 300g naturally sweetened mämmi (you can use the sweetened kind, too, but you may want to adjust the amount of granulated sugar.)

1. Pour yogurt into a sieve lined with cheesecloth and place over a bowl to drain. Allow to drain for a few hours or until it loses about 1/3 to 1/2 its volume. (note: low-fat yogurt will yield much more water than whole-fat yogurt)
2. In a saucepan, bring the syrup, orange juice and half of the sugar to a boil, stirring to dissolve the sugar. Boil for 1 minute and remove from heat.
3. Beat the egg yolks lightly and stir in a small amount of the hot syrup to temper the yolks. Add the remaining syrup and let cool to room temperature. Stir in orange zest.
4. Whip egg whites until they are foamy. Gradually add the remaining half of the sugar and whip to stiff peaks.
5. Pour the drained yogurt into a bowl and whisk in the syrup and egg yolk mixture until smooth. Whisk in mämmi until smooth and evenly distributed. Fold in egg foam with a spatula. (At this point you can cover the yogurt and refrigerate it for up to 24 hours to allow the flavour to 'mature' before processing it into frozen yogurt.)
6. Process in an ice cream freezer according to directions.

permalink Ω 6 April 2006, Helsinki

Spring Nausea

« In the absence of actual spring we have to pretend. »

In spite of the animals behaving as though it is spring and the return of the retarded turning the clocks forward at a latitude where it does little good in either direction, it's snowing and still cold in Helsinki while it's nearly 80F back home. I don't mind winter, but after more than six months of darkness and cold, I'd like the warm weather to hurry its ass up before the dark and the cold return. It's hard not to wonder if it's going to be a year without a summer while watching it snow on the second day of April.

I've been sick as a dog all last week and this weekend. I'm constantly nauseated, tired, unable to sleep well and have been mostly just sitting on the sofa staring into space wishing I could sleep and that my stomach would find something better to do. Even looking at pictures of food makes my stomach flip flop. Being sick along with the crappy weather as well as finding out that there won't be a mämmi eating contest this year has put me in a rather glum mood. In a desperate attempt to cheer myself up, I ran the logs from the web server through an analyzer and was quite entertained by some of the search phrases. Aside from altogether too many 'porn', 'naked' and 'sex' queries attached to various combinations of words, there were a lot of odd weather folklore and scary cooking questions. Some were just plain odd.

• jello wrestling and customer service in philadelphia - Uh...how do these go together and how did google think that this web site was what they might be looking for?
• the boss beer drunk pictures powerpoint - Nothing like having a powerpoint slide of your drunk boss ready for Monday's meeting.
• see n say penis - a new toy for kids?
• do i look like a people person magnet - on the internet nobody knows you're a dog
• zit cake recipe - eew. I suppose something with pink marzipan and whipped cream could work.
• cookie dough and anal leakage - if ever there were two things that didn't belong together, this might be them.
• forbidden secrets egyptian method of penis enlargement - they remove it, wrap it until it's larger than an elephant dick and stick it in a canopic jar.
• description of mr potato head as the ideal man - only if he comes with a dildo attachment
• flour salt oil sugar water baking powder make rear big fat ass? - yes
• a recent survey discovered people who text with right hand masterbate[sic] - So what do the lefties do?
• banana peel used as floorwax - What?
• how the fuck do you use a caulking gun - Very, very carefully.
• is it true that blackstrap molasses help to regain color in grey hair - no
• satan was seen building a snowman - Hell is a cold, dark place people.
• what material make up chicken feet and how to make it crispy for food - Who cares? Just deep fry it in oil and it'll be finger lickin' good!
• prunes for constipation how to use - Insert 5 of them rectally and wait.
• something funny or unusual about the culture of tallinn estonia - They have great candied nuts.
• can i used vegetable oil with my fleshlight? - Uh....sure, guy.
• can heroin be emulsified in gasoline - You gotta wonder where that question is going.
• pugs life span with a smoker in the house - longer than the smoker unless the pug shreds the smoker's cigs.
• how to make raspberry buns with children - children aren't nearly as sweet as raspberries so puree as you would with berries and add extra sugar.
• what recreational activites does north dakota enjoy during the months december through february? - drinking, fucking and sleeping. In that order.

And here's one just for Ignatz: John Waters' no smoking in this theatre leader from 1983. Ah, the memories. :)

Note to self - Pinhole Day 2006 is 30 April this year. Just in time for Vappu.

permalink Ω 3 April 2006, Helsinki

On a Kick

« Pīrāgi, tasty pork, onion and caraway filled Latvian dumplings. »

I've suddenly found myself on a dumpling kick and am going around the Baltic for a variety of tasty examples. When we were in Latvia last year, we had a plate of these pīrāgi which were peppery and, surprisingly, contained caraway seed. I grew up with caraway since it is a regular feature in German foods like pumpernickel bread. Caraway, in spite of it being common in Latvian and Estonian dishes, is largely absent from Finnish and Swedish cooking. Also there is a bit of linguistic confusion in Swedish, which spread to Finnish, as the word 'kummin' in Swedish and 'kumina' in Finnish can be used for both caraway and cumin which are two different spices. Again, much linguistic comedy ensues as Jarkko says, "Cumin?", and I say, "No, caraway.", which leads to about 20 minutes of my finding pictures and descriptions on the net of caraway and trying to explain how it is different from cumin. As it happens, caraway is sold as 'kumina' and cumin is known as 'juustokumina' (cheese cumin/caraway) in Finland. Why there isn't a completely separate word for cumin is rather curious.

Although the filling is similar to the Swedish kroppkakor, but uses yeast dough instead of a potato dough. The dough is a really tight dough, meaning that the gluten makes it difficult to roll, cut and form the dough since it is constantly springing back. There are products that are called 'dough relaxers' or 'dough enhancers' that were made for just this kind of dough as they break down some of the gluten so that it's not so springy. Without dough relaxer you simply have to roll out the dough and leave it for a few minutes to relax before you cut the dough. Also use the egg wash to help seal the dumplings as they do tend to pop open if not firmly sealed.

Pīrāgi

Makes: about 24 dumplings
Time: about 2 hours
Source: Latvian Institute

Dough:

• 2.5dl or 1 cup whole milk
• 25g cake yeast
• 25g or .90oz sugar
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 egg, room temperature
• 500g or 17.5oz all-purpose flour
• 75g or 5 tablespoons butter, melted and cooled

Filling:

• 4 slices of bacon, diced
• 250g or 9oz ham, grated
• 1 large onion, diced
• black pepper
• 1 teaspoon caraway seed

1. For the filling: Chop onion and bacon and fry in a skillet with a tablespoon or two of olive oil or butter until the onions have softened. Grate ham into the skillet and continue to cook while adding black pepper and caraway seeds. Set aside and allow to cool.
2. For the dough: Warm milk in the microwave for about 1 minute until it reaches about 40C/105F. Crumble yeast into the milk and stir until dissolved. Add sugar, salt and egg, mixing well. Add flour gradually to milk until dough forms a soft ball. Knead in melted butter until it is absorbed into the dough. Place dough into a clean, lightly greased bowl and cover with a clean dishtowel or plastic wrap. Place in a warm spot until the dough has doubled in volume.
3. When the dough has doubled, remove it from the bowl and divide it into two pieces. Roll the dough thinly and use a 3.5-inch/9cm or 4-inch/10cm round biscuit cutter to cut the dough. Spoon about 1 tablespoon of filling into the center of each circle of dough, moisten one half of the dough edge with egg wash, fold the dough in half and seal it firmly with your fingers or by pressing it together with a fork. Place the dumplings on a greased or baking paper lined baking sheet, brush each with egg wash and bake in a 375F/190C oven for about 15 minutes. Cool and serve with mustard.

permalink Ω 3 April 2006, Helsinki